carlsonjok
Posts: 3326
Joined: May 2006
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| Quote (dnmlthr @ Oct. 13 2008,12:14) | | Davescot is quite fond of conspiracy mongering. |
I am rather surprised that they haven't picked up on this story (see original for referenced photographic evidence).
| Quote | John on March 13, 2008
Well, its obvious the MSM is giving Obama a free ride in this election, so once again it falls to humble bloggers like myself to get the facts out. Oh, sure, I know you read that headline and youre thinking, Barack Obama an alien?! Thats crazy. I know how it sounds. All Im saying is dont be so sure until youve considered the evidence.
1. Where did he come from? Hes only been on the national scene 4 years. Before that he did something in Illinois. But his youth remains shrouded in mystery. And has anyone noticed how touchy Obamas people are about his past. They say he grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia, as if those are right nearby each other! I know some people have suggested hes hiding a boyhood connection to Islam, but the truth is far more disturbing. Obama grew up on another planet! (possibly Marxennui which orbits a red sun in the constellation Lyra). Need more proof?
2. Whats with that name? Umam I the only person remembering a certain alien visitor and his dying words to his giant killer robot, i.e. Klattu Barada Nikto. Im told by reliable sources on the Klingon language usenet group that an alternate phrasing could be Klattu Barack Diebold which roughly translated means Vote Barack! Coincidence? You wont think so when an army of cycloptic, anodized poll watchers land on the National Mall come November. Consider yourself warned and keep watching the skies!
3. The Fainting: Its well known that people faint wherever Barack speaks. Until now everyone has assumed this is a response to his ginormous personal charisma or possibly just a result of standing in the sun too long. But theres a better explanation, one that fits all the facts. Its simple really. What do all these people have in common? Think about it. They faint after getting close enough to see the real Barack! People dont just swoon for no reason. Something they saw shocked them into unconsciousness. Could it be the scales on his knuckles?!! I know what youre thinking, What scales on his knuckles? Well, youve never seen a close-up of his hands, have you? No and you wont. Thats because they look like this! Howd you like to see that thing clutching a bottle of Evian behind a lectern. Trust me, youd faint too.
4. The Slogan: Obama has dubbed himself an outsider and the candidate of change. Well, hes an outsider all right. Way, way outside if you know what I mean. As for change in Washington how obvious can it get. I mean, can you think of a bigger change than having aliens run the White House? No I didnt think so.
5. Photographic proof? A friend of a friend has sent me the final proof of my Barack-is-an-alien hypothesis. Take a look at this photo. Thats the original, unretouched image from the Rolling Stone photo shoot. No hands showing (wouldnt want to have to explain those talons would you Barack!!). But do you notice anything else out of the ordinary?
Look like anyone else you know?
So there it is. I know it still seems far-fetched but I ask you, whats more likely? That a one term Senator with no experience to speak of suddenly defeats the Clinton political machine and rises to the most powerful position in the world on the strength of his oratory?
Or that hes an alien plant.
And when I say plant I dont mean like a carrot or broccoli, thats a whole nother type of alien (which Im rarely in contact with). No, I mean a plant as in the Manchurian Candidate, only in this case Manchuria has twin suns and serves spring rolls made out of human skulls.
Sure, my theory is a little nutty, but no more so than Obamas economic blueprint for America. We could examine it more closely but, like Obama, Im asking you to just believe.
And, hey, keep an eye on the guys hands.
Update: Someone contacted me to say they see the ineffable logic behind my theory, except for one thing. How could the aliens know the Democrats would win? First of all, just because someone has three-fingered talons for hands doesnt mean theyre stupid. It doesnt take alien ESP to figure out that the Democrats have this one in the bag.
Anyway, I have it on good authority [Hat tip to Iggy at Stormfront] that the aliens had a plant in both parties
Update 2: Hillary has been trying to get this out there in her usual subtle way. Heres a description of her appearance on Ellen Degeneres talk show recently:
Asked by host Ellen Degeneres what the biggest misperception about her is, Clinton chirpily replied: You know, that Im some kind of creature from an alien world, I suppose. |
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It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it. We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)
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