CeilingCat
Posts: 2363
Joined: Dec. 2007
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ID the Future!
1: It is well known that God likes round numbers, assuming you accept seven, twelve and forty as among the round numbers. And maybe three.
2: Jesus was born in approximately four BC. (Being born four years before he was born was not actually his first miracle. It was more of a calendar maker's fuck up.)
3: Therefore, we should have gone Ape Shit for Baby Jesus on December 25, 1996, but didn't.
4: Our next opportunity to go Biblicly Ape Shit will be on the two thousandth anniversary of Jesus's death.
5: Jesus was about thirty three when he died.
6: Therefore, (2033-4) = 2028 looks like it will be a Jubilee year for Christians of the Whacked persuasion.
7: Unless the fact that there was no year zero (see 2 above) changes things.
8: Considering 7 above, the year 2025 is pretty close and there will be another total eclipse of the sun crossing America ( God's Country) that year.
9: Therefore, prepare to Party Hearty for the late Jesus in 2025.
Submitted to Progress in Information, Complexity and Design after reading one too many threads on UD. I have heard informally that it will be published in their next issue.
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