N.Wells
Posts: 1836
Joined: Oct. 2005
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| Quote (GaryGaulin @ Dec. 27 2015,15:44) | | Quote (ChemiCat @ Dec. 27 2015,14:19) | | Quote | And considering how design parameters to change and (by charting and graphing behavior) gain an understanding of include an attractor network that models hippocampi and entorhinal cortex areas there might already be preteens who can put any cognitive science related experience you have to shame.
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My points are proved.
I would call this sentence Byersesque but that would be an insult to R. Byers.
Have you been taking lessons from him, Gaulin? |
No, that's what happens when "I'm most concerned with being precise as possible, even though adding all the needed qualifiers can make sentences a harder read." |
That is not precise - it's hideous and not really intelligible English. There's a difference.
There's something missing between "parameters" and "to change".
There's no obvious subject.
Your sentence begins with "And", which is not prohibited, but is odd without adding clarity or emphasis or style.
"By charting and graphing behavior" is mystifying: it does not need to be in parentheses, and adding "behavior" appears to obfuscate your meaning. (Presumably, charting and graphing per se help people understand stuff, but "behavior" adds nothing, except confusion.)
"Gain an understanding of include"????? - that loses me completely.
Your attractor network does not model hippocampi. That should be your computer program (except that it doesn't actually model hippocampi and entorhinal cortex areas - you just slap labels onto a concept and assert that you have therefore modeled them.)
You need a comma between "areas" and "there".
"Related" gets in the way of your point without adding anything: just say "which puts to shame any experience you have in cognitive science". (That claim is false, but it would at least be grammatical.)
"You have to shame" is grammatical, but it is very poorly written: especially without including the word "that", "you have" seems to modify "to shame" rather than "any experience [that you have]".
Also, why the quotation marks in 'No, that's what happens when "I'm most concerned with being precise as possible, even though adding all the needed qualifiers can make sentences a harder read."?'
Without clear thinking and clear writing, your audience won't understand what you are saying, and, worse, you seem not to understand it either.
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