Joined: Jan. 2006
|Quote (Arden Chatfield @ Aug. 31 2007,16:05)|
|Quote (Jim_Wynne @ Aug. 31 2007,09:12)|
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|Quote ("Rev Dr" Lenny Flank @ Aug. 29 2007,21:51)|
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|Quote (Henry J @ Aug. 29 2007,20:52)|
|Re "Louis - Why do you make the Baby Zeus cry? "|
Yeah, don't upset a deity what might throw a thunderbolt or two your way if he gets reeeeeeally miffed! ;)
Pfffft. ?I bet Thor can beat up Zeus.
Punchline: You're Thor? I'm tho thor I can hardly pith.
Make up your own joke.
Rectum? It nearly killed him!
Don't forget to tip your waitress!
When I was a lad at school the teacher asked the class to make a little poem with a specific word in it. The word we got was "Timbucktu".
The class swot got up, Janie her name was, posh family, had fruit on the side board even though no one was sick. Used to get out of the bath to pee. Not our sort of people.
Her poem was:
As I was walking by the shore,
I turned and then a ship I saw,
It had a very handsome crew,
Its destination Timbuktu.
"Very good" says the teacher. Then it was my turn.
My poem was:
Tim and I went down to Kent,
We found three women in a tent,
There wasn't very much to do,
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two.
I was expelled.
Later on my friend Denzel and I had a double wedding. On the wedding night, before we all retired, Denzel and I (quite drunk at this point) decided to have a shagging competition. I said to Denzel "You'll never beat me at shagging. They don't call me the mad muffer from Mousehole for nothing you know. Anyway, how are we going to keep score?"
Denzel replied that we'd take a piece of chalk from the dart board and make a mark on the bedpost each time we had a portion.
So off we went to bed and I gave the Mrs a right good seeing to. I marked my bedpost and went to sleep. About half an hour later I woke up and gave the Mrs another portion. Two. I thought "Two, that's pretty good" and marked my bedpost. A couple of hours later, about 2 in the morning, I decided to split the Mrs' whiskers once again. She didn't wake up for that one, but I thought "Three, that's bloody good that is, three." and marked my bedpost again.
About 8 in the morning, Denzel comes in on his hands and knees and looks at the bed post and cries "Hundred and eleven. BASTARD. You beat me by one!".
P.S. Let's have a piss up shall us?