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  Topic: Can Creationists actually be funny?, deliberately, I mean< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
Doc Bill



Posts: 1039
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 17 2007,12:47   

Truth-ache.

That says it all, doesn't it.

Yes, humor requires intelligence and a degree of mental freedom.

Take me for instance.  I'm very smart and very funny (I have a degree in Mental Freedom).  Really, just ask me.

I have never met a funny creationist as in funny-ha-ha.  They're all very serious, or childish or seriously childish.

I almost never engage them on topic.  Why bother?  They're not interested in the topic.  That's why I go for the juggler, instead.  Once you take out the juggler all you're left with is the dog act.

OK, here's an original unless my sub-conscious stole it, which is possible.

Dembski and a monkey go into a bar.
The bartender says to the monkey, "Hey, you know that guy?"
And the monkey says, "No relation."

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 17 2007,13:38   

nope never heard that one, bill.  Not bad if it's an original.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 17 2007,13:40   

Quote
Did anyone remind him that it's not actually very funny??


yeah, as noted by many, it simply wouldn't have helped.

evidentiary arguments of any kind are totally lost on these folks.

I'm sure Dave thought it was funny, just like the other Dave is absolutely convinced he wins every argument he actually loses.

denial is like that.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Tracy P. Hamilton



Posts: 1239
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,08:26   

Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 16 2007,11:40)
IMHO good humor, particularly good satire, packs measures of both pleasure and aggression - about which these folks are notably conflicted. As does eroticism, in perhaps different measures.  How erotic are these people?


Homo.

--------------
"Following what I just wrote about fitness, you’re taking refuge in what we see in the world."  PaV

"The simple equation F = MA leads to the concept of four-dimensional space." GilDodgen

"We have no brain, I don't, for thinking." Robert Byers

  
SpaghettiSawUs



Posts: 77
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,14:26   

What I notice about the humour of these people that remains so childish, which is of course to be expected since they clearly possess undeveloped cognitive skills.

A good joke takes reality and bends it, that's what makes it funny: it's almost familiar. The alternative reality of the creos leads only to insular humour - they're only funny if you subscribe to the worldview.

A pun is usually useful, but better puns require a better grasp of word definitions, something which Creo-bots have a hard time with.

Cognition and abstraction go hand in hand, when these are limited then good humour is impossible. The only fun derived is of the "poking" (at the evilutionist atheist conspirator) variety. That's an in joke to the in group, a bonding joke.

The preponderance of fart humour belies not only poor humour, but poor wit. Wit speaks to a clear point, an observation or assertion of an evident truism, laced with humour. The wit must first have an answer from which to draw a witty response. Thus, either the purveyor of the fart joke lacks wit, or else he has no answer.

The little flash animation I saw post Dover, with heads yakking (not sure where I watched it but if anyone knows the one please linky) was pretty sad, and the absence of anything actually witty was telling.

It's hard to be funny when the law just told you "you suck".

Cheers
Spags

PS.. this may, or may not, be funny:

How many AFDave's does it take to change a lightbulb?

LIGHTBULBS CHANGED IN ONE MINUTE:
SCIENCE AGAIN CHAMPIONS THE ANTHROPOCENTRIC FAITH!

i have shown how lightbulb changing was a tenet of the Queen of Sciences (theology) before Darwin, who claimed that lightbulbs changed gradually over millions of years. But when I googled "lightbulb changing" I found countless papers showing that lightbulbs were DESIGNED to be changed safely and RAPIDLY, allowing plenty of time for lightbulbs to have developed into millions of different varieties in the 4700 years since the flood!

As OA, Faid and others have rightly pointed out, someone here is making fallacies of definition and argumentum ad googlum, and that person is Eric. Sorry Eric you need to get on topic, we're not addressing lightbulb factories at this time as I already covered that in my Alberts quotation, which you have not addressed. If you can get on topic I may consider reading your posts again.

Todays topic...
LONGLIFE LIGHTBULBS DEMONSTRATES VALIDITY OF LONGLIFE PATRIARCHS
Now someone, I think it was VoxRat but I don't read his posts either, was asking...[ad-infinitum, ad nauseum..]

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On June 23, 2007, 01:06 PM AFDave wrote: "How can we dismiss their theories without first reading their work?"

  
Arden Chatfield



Posts: 6657
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,14:33   

Quote

How many AFDave's does it take to change a lightbulb?


Hmmm... I know there's a good answer to this joke:

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?





suggestions?

--------------
"Rich is just mad because he thought all titties had fur on them until last week when a shorn transvestite ruined his childhood dreams by jumping out of a spider man cake and man boobing him in the face lips." - Erasmus

  
Stephen Elliott



Posts: 1754
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,14:54   

Quote (Arden Chatfield @ June 18 2007,14:33)
Quote

How many AFDave's does it take to change a lightbulb?


Hmmm... I know there's a good answer to this joke:

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?





suggestions?

None. He is too dim to notice it has stopped working:??

Bah! Forgot to do satire.

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,14:58   

Quote (Arden Chatfield @ June 18 2007,14:33)
Quote

How many AFDave's does it take to change a lightbulb?


Hmmm... I know there's a good answer to this joke:

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?





suggestions?

It doesn't take any, homo

Real Autodicks ™ aren't afeared of the dark.

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,14:59   

Quote (J-Dog @ June 18 2007,14:58)
Quote (Arden Chatfield @ June 18 2007,14:33)
Quote

How many AFDave's does it take to change a lightbulb?


Hmmm... I know there's a good answer to this joke:

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?





suggestions?

It doesn't take any, homo

Real Autodicks ™ aren't afeared of the dark.

ooh, that's good.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
carlsonjok



Posts: 3324
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,15:17   

Quote (Arden Chatfield @ June 18 2007,14:33)
Hmmm... I know there's a good answer to this joke:

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the bulb will never want to be changed again since no one can screw one in like Davescot. In fact, lamps are just begging him to change their bulbs.

--------------
It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it.  We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

  
Arden Chatfield



Posts: 6657
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,15:42   

Quote

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?


None. The lightbulb is no longer with us.   :angry:

--------------
"Rich is just mad because he thought all titties had fur on them until last week when a shorn transvestite ruined his childhood dreams by jumping out of a spider man cake and man boobing him in the face lips." - Erasmus

  
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,20:17   

Quote (Tracy P. Hamilton @ June 18 2007,08:26)
     
Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ June 16 2007,11:40)
IMHO good humor, particularly good satire, packs measures of both pleasure and aggression - about which these folks are notably conflicted. As does eroticism, in perhaps different measures.  How erotic are these people?


Homo.

I know you didn't mean that. At AtBC we say,

"Homo, IMHO."

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
- Barry Arrington

  
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,20:18   

Quote (Arden Chatfield @ June 18 2007,15:42)
Quote

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?


None. The lightbulb is no longer with us.   :angry:

LOL!

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
- Barry Arrington

  
stevestory



Posts: 10371
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,20:34   

Quote (Arden Chatfield @ June 18 2007,16:42)
Quote

How many Dave Scots does it take to change a lightbulb?


None. The lightbulb is no longer with us.   :angry:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Arden, you win whatever we call the comedy award around here.

   
Doc Bill



Posts: 1039
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,22:03   

No way, Steve!  I demand a recount.

OK, Dembski and a monkey walk into a bar and the bartender says to the monkey, "Is he with you?" and the monkey replies, "No relation."

(Now that's funny on many levels.  It's got a talking monkey and a twist on teh creationist.)

Then the bartender says, "He looks hot!  Is he erotic?" and the monkey replies, "Homo."

(That is a scream on several levels.  First, the talking monkey.  Always a winner.  Then the play on the creationist fear of homosexuals.  But the monkey's simple reply of "homo" could be taken several ways:  self, homosexual or homoerotic)  Drinks all around for the monkey.

As for how many AFDaves it takes to change a lightbulb the answer is zero because the light never came on.  Therefore, they don't know it's burned out!

OK, here's my final attempt for the night:

Paul Nelson, Dembski and Behe go into a bar.
Behe orders a duck on the rocks.
Dembski orders a Waterloo.
Nelson says he'll have what the other two guys are having.
The bartender says, "But what they ordered is nonsense."
And Nelson replies, "Well, make mine a double!"

I think I'm ready to quit my day job!

  
Arden Chatfield



Posts: 6657
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,22:41   

Quote (Doc Bill @ June 18 2007,22:03)
No way, Steve!  I demand a recount.

OK, Dembski and a monkey walk into a bar and the bartender says to the monkey, "Is he with you?" and the monkey replies, "No relation."

(Now that's funny on many levels.  It's got a talking monkey and a twist on teh creationist.)

Then the bartender says, "He looks hot!  Is he erotic?" and the monkey replies, "Homo."

(That is a scream on several levels.  First, the talking monkey.  Always a winner.  Then the play on the creationist fear of homosexuals.  But the monkey's simple reply of "homo" could be taken several ways:  self, homosexual or homoerotic)  Drinks all around for the monkey.

As for how many AFDaves it takes to change a lightbulb the answer is zero because the light never came on.  Therefore, they don't know it's burned out!

OK, here's my final attempt for the night:

Paul Nelson, Dembski and Behe go into a bar.
Behe orders a duck on the rocks.
Dembski orders a Waterloo.
Nelson says he'll have what the other two guys are having.
The bartender says, "But what they ordered is nonsense."
And Nelson replies, "Well, make mine a double!"

I think I'm ready to quit my day job!

Are you here all week?

--------------
"Rich is just mad because he thought all titties had fur on them until last week when a shorn transvestite ruined his childhood dreams by jumping out of a spider man cake and man boobing him in the face lips." - Erasmus

  
Doc Bill



Posts: 1039
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,22:45   

I'd like to say I'm opening at the Sands but does the Sands even exist?



Behe goes into a bar and orders a Zombie.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Sorry, Dembski left 10 minutes ago."



Am I on a roll or what?

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,22:55   

Quote (Doc Bill @ June 18 2007,22:45)
Behe goes into a bar and orders a Zombie.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Sorry, Dembski left 10 minutes ago."

William Dembski, Sal Cordova and Denyse O'Leary walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

--------------
CBEB's: The Church Burnin' Ebola Blog
Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
Doc Bill



Posts: 1039
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,22:59   

mr. DNA,

I bow at your feet.

Doc Bill

  
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,23:25   

Quote (Doc Bill @ June 18 2007,22:45)
I'd like to say I'm opening at the Sands but does the Sands even exist?



Behe goes into a bar and orders a Zombie.

The bartender looks at him and says, "Sorry, Dembski left 10 minutes ago."



Am I on a roll or what?

Calls to mind the late Spalding Gray:

"A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer and a mop."

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
- Barry Arrington

  
Doc Bill



Posts: 1039
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 18 2007,23:29   

Behe is celebrating the publishing of Edge of Evolution.  After 10 pints, turns and hurls on the floor.

There amongst the chunder is a copy of Darwin's Black Box.

Behe says, "I don't remember regurgitating that."

  
Ichthyic



Posts: 3325
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,00:07   

i bet he didn't even remember consuming it, either.

I do often wonder if he actually reads what he writes.

--------------
"And the sea will grant each man new hope..."

-CC

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,00:37   

Michael Behe walks into a bar, orders a beer, and tries to pick a chick up. And she doesn't withdraw, which is encouraging, so he asks her her name.

"Carmen. It's not my real name, but I like cars, and I like men, so I changed it."

"That's pretty. You know, I renamed myself just now," says Behe.

"Oh, really? To what?" she asks.

"Beersex." :)  Smooth.

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Ra-Úl



Posts: 93
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,00:54   

Quote (Doc Bill @ June 18 2007,22:45)
I'd like to say I'm opening at the Sands but does the Sands even exist?

It met its designed end Nov 26 last year, 2:06 am.

http://www.pcap.com/sandsimp.htm

Ra-Úl

--------------
Beauty is that which makes us desperate. - P Valery

  
Mister DNA



Posts: 466
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,01:44   

Quote (Kristine @ June 19 2007,00:37)
Michael Behe walks into a bar, orders a beer, and tries to pick a chick up. And she doesn't withdraw, which is encouraging, so he asks her her name.

"Carmen. It's not my real name, but I like cars, and I like men, so I changed it."

"That's pretty. You know, I renamed myself just now," says Behe.

"Oh, really? To what?" she asks.

"Beersex." :)  Smooth.

Okay, I didn't want to do this, but this one has provoked me... (note to mods: Feel free to delete this or move it to The Bathroom Wall if it crosses any boundaries.)

DaveScot walks into a bar and sits at the counter. Other than the bartender, the only other person in the place is Denyse O'Leary, perched on a stool at the opposite end of the bar.

"Hey barkeep," hollers DS, "get me a beer and get that douchebag at the end of the bar whatever she wants."

The bartender is offended: "Listen, mister, this is a respectable establishment; if you want to talk like that, you can take your business elsewhere."

Rolling his eyes, DS says to the bartender, "Fine, fine. "Please get me a beer, and get that 'lady' at the end of the bar whatever she wants."

The bartender gets Dave his beer and then approaches Denyse O'Leary. "Excuse me, ma'am; that gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink. What would you like?"

"I'll have a vinegar & water."

--------------
CBEB's: The Church Burnin' Ebola Blog
Thank you, Dr. Dembski. You are without peer when it comes to The Argument Regarding Design. - vesf

    
huwp



Posts: 172
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,07:08   

As others have said, the problem is that creationists like to take things literally, which is very child-like.

For example, a creationist walks into a bar with a pig under his arm and the barman asks
"where did you get that?"
"I won him in a raffle"
said the pig.

OK, very old and not very funny but I suspect the common or garden YEC might just say that it's a silly joke because pigs can't talk.  And this from people who have no problems with talking snakes or even talking burning bushes!  My apologies for any Irony Meters which have just given warning buzzes.

Of course, ID people like to think they're more sophisticated but their "humour" rather gives the game away.  Silly pictures with Darwin dolls with heads in vices (UK spelling) or even puerile animations with fart noises are exactly the sort of thing which might appeal to an 8 year old.

Just the age when you almost stop believing in Father Christmas but can't quite manage to do so, just in case.

There is something both child-like and childish about the YEC and ID crowds.  Perhaps the most telling sign of this is that would have us believe what they say is true because they say so

  
Wesley R. Elsberry



Posts: 4861
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,07:34   

Quote

It met its designed end Nov 26 last year, 2:06 am.


That page says "1996".

Where do you get your time-warps from?

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"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks." - Dorothy Parker

    
keiths



Posts: 2041
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,08:09   

This post is the one thing I've seen at UD that actually was sort of funny, in a preachy way.  Dembski didn't come up with it, of course, but at least he did recognize that it was funny...

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And the set of natural numbers is also the set that starts at 0 and goes to the largest number.  -- Joe G

Please stop putting words into my mouth that don't belong there and thoughts into my mind that don't belong there. -- KF

  
SpaghettiSawUs



Posts: 77
Joined: June 2007

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,09:12   

Quote (keiths @ June 19 2007,14:09)
This post is the one thing I've seen at UD that actually was sort of funny, in a preachy way.  Dembski didn't come up with it, of course, but at least he did recognize that it was funny...

I suspect that the way I find that funny is somewhat different to Dumbski.

--------------
On June 23, 2007, 01:06 PM AFDave wrote: "How can we dismiss their theories without first reading their work?"

  
Ra-Úl



Posts: 93
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: June 19 2007,10:21   

Quote (Wesley R. Elsberry @ June 19 2007,07:34)
Quote

It met its designed end Nov 26 last year, 2:06 am.


That page says "1996".

Where do you get your time-warps from?

I did too much LDS in the 60's . . . since I live basically down the street from the Sands I should have really remembered it couldn't have been last year, but I still live in the 90's anyway.



Ra-Úl

--------------
Beauty is that which makes us desperate. - P Valery

  
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