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+--Forum: After the Bar Closes...
+---Topic: Friday Sweepstake started by Altabin


Posted by: Altabin on Sep. 27 2007,07:53

Friday is traditionally the day on which Dembski ramps the craziness up a notch at UD.  This is a good thing.  That long Tues-Thurs stretch, in which nothing much of anything happens at UD beyond a normal level of tard - it can feel long.  At least we can always count on something truly outrageous happening before the weekend.

So, let's start a sweepstake: what will Dembski do next?  Prize for the best answer: a dembski ( = a bottle of malt whiskey (not delivered)).

My entry this week: Dembski will publish photographs of the Baylor trustees' children, along with maps of their routes home from school.  "I urge everyone to approach these children respectfully, and politely but forcefully put the case for Robert Marks's academic freedom.  If they have been so indoctrinated by Darwinist propaganda that they try to run away from you, I suggest that you urge them to take a ride in your car with you, so that you can discuss Jesus your flagellum non-stochastic processes in nature with more privacy."
Posted by: carlsonjok on Sep. 27 2007,08:18

Wave Three of the Media Coverage of the Baylor Controversy

This would involve letters to the editor in the:

- Waterloo-Cedar Falls (Iowa) Courier
- Waterloo (Illinois) Republic Times

And to show the international aspects of the rapidly growing controversy:

- A student monograph in Imprint, the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo (Ontario).
- Denyse O'Leary will have a guest column in the Kitchener-Waterloo (Ontario) Record
Posted by: J-Dog on Sep. 27 2007,09:10

He will announce that the entire UD website will be closed down, while he goes to re-hab with Lindsey Lohan.  

He is tired, sick, and hooked on methamphetamine and daytime TV.   In true Dembski fashion, he will say that if the Darwinists weren’t so committed to their dogma, they would have seen this “a long, long time ago”.

He will admit that ALL the posters and bloggers are actually him, and it has tired him out.  He got the picture of Denyse from the All-World Traveling Carnival “Worst Of Gallery”, her writing style from Mary Sue Benson a 7th grader at McArthur Jr. High.  

DaveScot’s picture is from hacking into the confidential web files of Pillsbury Doughboy audition files, and his persona from a delusional game-player that lives in his Mom and Dad’s basement.   He got GilDodson’s picture from his close personal friend Ted Haggard, and Jehu’s persona, lifted from the “Diary Of A Stuhrbanfuhrer – My Life In the Waffin SS”.  

He deeply regrets giving his life to Jesus, and calls him “a non-caring, un-feeling figment of my imagination” that has “ruined his life”.  

Dembski will finish his announcement by sobbing that “At least those bastards at ATBC won’t have Bill Dembski to kick around anymore”.  

This will lead to a complete resurgence of Dembski in a new carrer however, when he finally receives the public acclaim and adoration he has always lookd for as "The Sock Puppeteer Of The Century", for his work on UD.
Posted by: Richardthughes on Sep. 27 2007,09:11

Wah! Wah! Baylor 5th wave.


Dembski will:

Compare Baylor to Nazi Germany
Kidnap one of the trustees pets.
Appear on Bill O'Reilly ( Please! Please!)
Hire the A Team
Suggest that the, erm, "lab" has a better offer at St. Gods School of learn' gud, only for that to fall through.
Posted by: Tracy P. Hamilton on Sep. 27 2007,09:16

Fart-based animation from Baylor President Lilley

passed on by Dilliam Wembski,

followed by many replys of outrage in UD

followed by a post from William Dembski:

Dilliam Wembski just meant it as a parody, folks!
Posted by: Arden Chatfield on Sep. 27 2007,09:36

Quote (Richardthughes @ Sep. 27 2007,09:11)
Wah! Wah! Baylor 5th wave.


Dembski will:

Compare Baylor to Nazi Germany
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


Are we absolutely certain that hasn't already happened?

My vote for Friday is for Bill posting the credit card numbers of the Baylor Regents.
Posted by: Richardthughes on Sep. 27 2007,09:40

He could send DaveScot to entrap and blackmail some of them with lewd gay love.

He's irresistible to both sexes, dontchaknow?
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp on Sep. 27 2007,12:57

WAD will cut his finger while vigorously typing a fake letter to rebuff the delusionally self perceived attacks by the Baylor cheerleading squad. After noticing the blood on his sweater he will place it on ebay with a starting bid of $10k. The sweater will be bid on solely by bornagain77, davescot and FtK. The bidding will be so furious that it will break single day records on ebay.

The following day, WAD will post on UD and point to the auction's record breaking levels saying it is a prima facie case that Intelligent Design is widely accepted and is gaining popularity. Once ebay discovers that WAD has broken ebay's rules about selling DNA it will pull the auction.

The following day WAD will post that once again ID is being repressed.
Posted by: Doc Bill on Sep. 27 2007,13:02

Dr. Dr. will complain that Marks was bribed by a fat NSF grant (underwritten by the Darwinian Pressure Group, Delta Pi Gamma) to drop Dembski like a rabid gerbil.
Posted by: Arden Chatfield on Sep. 28 2007,10:29

Well, it's 10:30am Texas time and still no signs of Bill's traditional Friday Freakout™. No photos of regents' children, no credit card numbers, no calls to take up arms and march on Baylor.

I fear he may disappoint us this week.  :(
Posted by: Altabin on Sep. 28 2007,10:46

Quote (Arden Chatfield @ Sep. 28 2007,17:29)
Well, it's 10:30am Texas time and still no signs of Bill's traditional Friday Freakout™. No photos of regents' children, no credit card numbers, no calls to take up arms and march on Baylor.

I fear he may disappoint us this week.  :(
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


As far as I can tell, the freakout occurs after he's refused lunch at the Baylor cafeteria.  We should see things developing from about 1 o'clock Texas time.

If not, I'm going to feel like one of those Adventist prophets, the day after the forecasted date for the apocalypse.  Maybe it's your fault.  Your faith wasn't great enough.
Posted by: k.e on Sep. 28 2007,10:53

HOMOS!!!! OH YES, YOU MAY LAUGH. BUT ONLY THE USUAL SUSPECTS APPEAR HERE.

MATERIALIST SCUM.

DENXE IS NOT ME, NOR IS B77 THEY R ORLLY!!

FRIENDS, CREATIONISTS AND SOUTHENERS GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESSES, i COME TO BURY GOD NOT PRAISE HIM.

WE R LITERALISTS NOT AURALISTS AND THERE4 AS LOGOCENTRIC DOGBOTHERERS MAKE BOOK BASED CLAIMS ON DOGS DESIGNS.

THXS BI MAI BUK.
Posted by: Arden Chatfield on Sep. 28 2007,11:01

Quote (Altabin @ Sep. 28 2007,10:46)
 
Quote (Arden Chatfield @ Sep. 28 2007,17:29)
Well, it's 10:30am Texas time and still no signs of Bill's traditional Friday Freakout™. No photos of regents' children, no credit card numbers, no calls to take up arms and march on Baylor.

I fear he may disappoint us this week.  :(
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


As far as I can tell, the freakout occurs after he's refused lunch at the Baylor cafeteria.  We should see things developing from about 1 o'clock Texas time.

If not, I'm going to feel like one of those Adventist prophets, the day after the forecasted date for the apocalypse.  Maybe it's your fault.  Your faith wasn't great enough.
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


No, I think YOUR faith was too weak.  :angry:

Just so you know, < here's > what's at stake.



---------------------QUOTE-------------------
During the 1960s and early 1970s, various references were made in Witnesses' literature and at assemblies, implying that Christ's thousand-year millennial reign might begin by 1975. The chronology pointing to 1975 was noted in the secular media at the time. From 1975 to 1980, there was a drop in membership following the failure of this prediction. In 1980, the Watchtower Society admitted its responsibility in building up hope regarding the year 1975.
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


Posted by: Richardthughes on Sep. 28 2007,11:09

Ohhhh, I hope not. Who am I going to laugh at when they're gone? Someone have a plan B.. or I'll just keep googling "Davescot" until he turns up at some other science denying site...
Posted by: k.e on Sep. 28 2007,12:09

Quote (Richardthughes @ Sep. 28 2007,19:09)
Ohhhh, I hope not. Who am I going to laugh at when they're gone? Someone have a plan B.. or I'll just keep googling "Davescot" until he turns up at some other science denying site...
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


And .......if he is carrying concealed?
Posted by: Richardthughes on Sep. 28 2007,12:13

Quote (k.e @ Sep. 28 2007,12:09)
And .......if he is carrying concealed?
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


Carrying concealed theism?
Posted by: k.e on Sep. 28 2007,12:27

Quote (Richardthughes @ Sep. 28 2007,20:13)
Quote (k.e @ Sep. 28 2007,12:09)
And .......if he is carrying concealed?
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


Carrying concealed theism?
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


No, he keeps a '45 in his sock, with the sheriffs concent.

So 'god' can blow your brains.
Posted by: Bob O'H on Sep. 28 2007,12:40



---------------------QUOTE-------------------
No, he keeps a '45 in his sock, with the sheriffs concent.
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


So you're safe unless he's stood next to a turntable.

Bob
Posted by: carlsonjok on Sep. 28 2007,12:45

Quote (Bob O'H @ Sep. 28 2007,12:40)


---------------------QUOTE-------------------
No, he keeps a '45 in his sock, with the sheriffs concent.
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


So you're safe unless he's stood next to a turntable.
---------------------QUOTE-------------------


Sure. But if he is near a turntable, watch out!!


end


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