Joined: May 2006
My fellow AtBC-ers:
Many decades ago, a once-nameless horror was born on a wretched gray island.
Bulbous-headed and mustachioed, the resemblance to his mother was immediately recognized by all, though young Louis was also clearly the spawn of the Dark Forces that eternally plague mankind.
Despite the unwanted "attentions" of a certain "Uncle," Louis had a carefree childhood, and and soon grew into a pest of vast knowledge and vocabulary. His father -- an itinerant phlegm-sweep-- wanted a better life for Louis, and apprenticed his son to a local Cockney pickpocket who noticed the lad's pouty lips and potential. The townsfolk themselves eventually raised the money to send Louis far, far away to the Dunwich School for Nubile Boys.
Dressed in his velvet-and-lace finery, Master Louis was resplendent, and it was said that his schoolmates often showered him with gold coins, golden praise and other yellowish things. He got to know his headmaster intimately, along with certain upperclassmen who taught him unspeakable crimes against nature, and also introduced him to the field that later became his passion, alchemy. Luis also cultivated a butt-thrusting waddle that later became his trademark. With his friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weaseley, Louis engaged in a series of adventures that caught the eye of schools elesewhere.
Soon, Louis had entered university, where he put his alchemical knowledge to good use by creating new lubricants and various scented oils. He surprised his tutors by breeding a strain of chemically-altered gay mice that earned him his degree. This then lead to his marriage and the birth of Arden's son.
Today, we are pleased to call Louis our friend and raise a toast to the man, the legend, the genius that is Louis. Long may his misshapen head sway over our fair land. To Louis!
P.S. Yes, I'm late, homos. Missed you all, hope things are going well, life is pretty damned fun. Cheers!
AtBC Award for Thoroughness in the Face of Creationism