Joined: May 2006
Many things come to mind when I am reminded of Louis' imminent reproduction: Firstly, I am aghast that, in the imagined words of famed Canadian humorist Densey O'Leary, a well-known Brit toff has managed to sire offspring at all.
I'd sooner expect the corpse of Oscar Wilde to pop up out of the grave and announce his bethrothal to Gertrude Stein. I ask you, fellow denizens of the bar, is this the kind of world that we want to live in, where the english, well-known for their tiny, doll-like genitalia, are breeding willy-nilly, so to speak?
Secondly, should we continue to heap blame upon the memory of a man who has already been punished enough? As has been already mentioned, Divine Providence has seen fit to plague the English with Margaret Thatcher,Louis (a kind of hairier, yet oddly less male Maggie), miniscule sex organs, Louis and British "cuisine" -- have we no mercy? Can we not seek, in the name of international diplomacy, and the very welfare of said forthcoming child -- to wrest the babe from the clutches of such a fate?
It is on this final note that I wish to dwell, my friends.
As we have seen all too often in these hallowed pages, Louis is surely himself the spawn of the Dark Forces that beset mankind. In short, he is a pest of vast vocabulary, ambiguous parentry and suspect sexual proclivities. Yet, as we have learned from our many scientifical studies in nerdology and genetics...such "tendencies" as found in Louis often skip a generation, so that this child about to be born might in fact not be at all like his father, but rather a brilliant mind, focused and uncrippled by addiction to drink, drugs and lolcattery. In short, it may actually be somewhat like me, in my modest genius. I therefore raise a toast to a child that I'd be proud to consider my own, if he weren't my own, which he surely couldn't be because I'd never do such a thing. At least not while Louis could know. And he doesn't.
Raise your glasses to the future, my friends -- to the FUTURE! May The Noodly One save us all.
AtBC Award for Thoroughness in the Face of Creationism