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  Topic: A Thread Short of a Fugly Sweater, Getcher Sig-Worthy One-Liners Here!< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
Kristine



Posts: 3037
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,13:48   

Remember Mad Magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"? Well, here is where you can add your punchy, sig-worthy ID/UD/Dembscream one-liners!

"Joseph at UD would make even Casey Luskin's eyebrows travel so far up his forehead as to become a cowlick."

(With thanks to Nabokov's Lolita.)

Okay, people, make with the metaphors. :)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
OgreMkV



Posts: 3259
Joined: Oct. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,14:02   

Can't beat Joe "Termites ARE intelligent agents" G with his famous admission of cherry picking

"I have read many. I just need to find the one that supports my claim."

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Ignored by those who can't provide evidence for their claims.

http://skepticink.com/smilodo....retreat

   
Steverino



Posts: 407
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,14:47   

Oh, I don't know...these two from TerryP at Scam

Quote
"I was a science teacher many years ago, back in the 80's. We talked mostly about science and not evolution."

"I'm not a big fan of gaining more intelligence, because it contains the truth."


I called him a Tard and the Mod sent me an email informing me that I had inflicted great pain by calling him a Tard...and would I please stop.  

Made my day. ;-)

This stuff just writes itself.

--------------
- Born right the first time.
- Asking questions is NOT the same as providing answers.
- It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys show up!

   
olegt



Posts: 1378
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,14:57   

Quote
33
gpuccio
06/25/2010
1:13 am

Again “how much”. I don’t think that’s a good way to be quantitative.


--------------
If you are not:
Galapagos Finch
please Logout »

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4360
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,15:01   

I don't have a link to it, but for sure, Joe's famous - or infamous line - is sig worthy!:

"Ice Is Not Water" - Joe G

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Kristine



Posts: 3037
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,15:29   

Thank you for inviting me - I have some new material. First, a little folk song: If I had a WEASEL, I’d/Weasel out of questions/I’d weasel out of answers/All over UD!

Thank you! Thank you! I wrote that myself.

Here’s one from Memory Lane:
ID/UD/We all scream for Dembscream!

Ah, that one never gets tired. And now one for the ladies:
I’m afraid that the only way to tighten Denyse’s prose is to unleash her paeanential…but what if she becomes a bucoholic? </Englishnerd>

Ah, UD: always one frame short of a Sasquatch film. Eating with one chop stick, their pathetic level of detail wouldn't fill a Rauschenberg painting.

Thank you! I’m here until Thursday! :D

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Ptaylor



Posts: 877
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,18:05   

I'm not sure if it's the intention of this thread, but here are some of my personal favorites from UD (mostly originally spotted by others here):
Gil:        
Quote
I am Richard Dawkins’ worst nightmare — a former militant atheist and Darwinist

Joseph:        
Quote
To this day I kick myself for not going to the “Kitzmiller” fiasco…

Dense        
Quote
I wouldn’t be bothered reading about the selfish gene because it has never been identified.


DaveScot
(sniff):      
Quote
We have a keen nose for bogus science here, folks.

StephenB:      
Quote
Born again 77 is one of the most scientifically knowledgeable posters on this site, and he continues to wipe up the floor with Darwinists who cannot even begin to answer or even approach must of his points.

...coupled with...
bornagain77:      
Quote
correction billionn trillion = 10^21 = 10^9 + 10^12

And of course my current sig!

Edited: my, not by (I have a cold).

--------------
“To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.” - Isaac Asimov

"Grow up, assface" - Joe G., grown up ID spokesperson, Sandwalk, April 2014

  
Kristine



Posts: 3037
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,19:44   

Well, I was kind of hoping for your words - you are wittier than the UD guys (unless they unintentionally really let loose with a malapropism). Something along the lines of:

Dembski, Dembski, Dem Dry-ski! Now hear the Word of de Bored! Or...

UD: True Blotter of Old Tyme thou art!
Who alterest all posts with thy sneering lies.
Why prayest thou thus over the archivist’s heart,
Culture, whose wars are Truth's demise? :)

Something like that. :D

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
OgreMkV



Posts: 3259
Joined: Oct. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2011,22:13   

Alright you UD IDiots, listen up! You see this? This... is my evidence! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Origin of the Species. Amazon's top of the line. You can find this in the SCIENCE department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Down House, England. Retails for about a thirty five, ninety five. It's got a leather binding, red bookmark thingy, and chock full of evidence. That's right. Shop smart. Get evidence. You got that?

--------------
Ignored by those who can't provide evidence for their claims.

http://skepticink.com/smilodo....retreat

   
Schroedinger's Dog



Posts: 1691
Joined: Jan. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,00:25   

Quote (OgreMkV @ July 13 2011,04:13)
Alright you UD IDiots, listen up! You see this? This... is my evidence! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Origin of the Species. Amazon's top of the line. You can find this in the SCIENCE department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Down House, England. Retails for about a thirty five, ninety five. It's got a leather binding, red bookmark thingy, and chock full of evidence. That's right. Shop smart. Get evidence. You got that?

Army of Darkness reference FTW!!!

--------------
"Hail is made out of water? Are you really that stupid?" Joe G

"I have a better suggestion, Kris. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself instead." Louis

"The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit" Richard Pryor

   
fnxtr



Posts: 2080
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,01:14   

Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ July 12 2011,22:25)
Quote (OgreMkV @ July 13 2011,04:13)
Alright you UD IDiots, listen up! You see this? This... is my evidence! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Origin of the Species. Amazon's top of the line. You can find this in the SCIENCE department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Down House, England. Retails for about a thirty five, ninety five. It's got a leather binding, red bookmark thingy, and chock full of evidence. That's right. Shop smart. Get evidence. You got that?

Army of Darkness reference FTW!!!

"Who wants some?!?!?"

--------------
"But it's disturbing to think someone actually thinks creationism -- having put it's hand on the hot stove every day for the last 400 years -- will get a different result tomorrow." -- midwifetoad

  
Seversky



Posts: 412
Joined: June 2010

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,04:07   

I know what you're thinking, Dembsk. You're thinking "did he win six cases or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is evolution the most powerful theory in biology and will blow ID clean away, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, Dembsk?

  
Steverino



Posts: 407
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,05:06   

Quote
"Darwin... you magnificent bastard, I read your book! "


--------------
- Born right the first time.
- Asking questions is NOT the same as providing answers.
- It's all fun and games until the flying monkeys show up!

   
Schroedinger's Dog



Posts: 1691
Joined: Jan. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,05:58   

-UD happens-

--------------
"Hail is made out of water? Are you really that stupid?" Joe G

"I have a better suggestion, Kris. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself instead." Louis

"The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit" Richard Pryor

   
J-Dog



Posts: 4360
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,07:59   

Quote
But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
Carl Sagan


UD - We're laughing at you, not with you!

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Robin



Posts: 1427
Joined: Sep. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,08:02   

There are a number of Louis' responses I'd love to post, what with all their wit and creativity. I believe my sig will suffice for an example.

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we IDists rule in design for the flagellum and cilium largely because they do look designed.  Bilbo

The only reason you reject Thor is because, like a cushion, you bear the imprint of the biggest arse that sat on you. Louis

  
Kristine



Posts: 3037
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,08:25   

Quote (Seversky @ July 13 2011,04:07)
I know what you're thinking, Dembsk. You're thinking "did he win six cases or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is evolution the most powerful theory in biology and will blow ID clean away, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, Dembsk?

:D

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Schroedinger's Dog



Posts: 1691
Joined: Jan. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,08:41   

UD: "It's not a moon, it's a turd station" - Obiwan Kenobi

--------------
"Hail is made out of water? Are you really that stupid?" Joe G

"I have a better suggestion, Kris. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself instead." Louis

"The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit" Richard Pryor

   
k.e..



Posts: 2835
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,08:44   

SHUTTUP AND LISTEN HOMOS!

READ MY SIG. dtard retired Blog Tzar

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"I get a strong breeze from my monitor every time k.e. puts on his clown DaveTard suit" dogdidit
"Abbie Smith (ERV) who's got to be the most obnoxious arrogant snot I've ever seen except for when I look in a mirror" DAVE TARD
"ID is deader than Lenny Flanks granmaws dildo batteries" Erasmus

  
Henry J



Posts: 3998
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,11:15   

There's the phrase once used by Murray Slaughter to describe a conversation he had with a coworker: "a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent".

  
KCdgw



Posts: 367
Joined: Sep. 2002

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,11:55   

Quote (Henry J @ July 13 2011,11:15)
There's the phrase once used by Murray Slaughter to describe a conversation he had with a coworker: "a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent".

Bringing a rubber chicken to a cockfight.

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Those who know the truth are not equal to those who love it-- Confucius

  
khan



Posts: 1479
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2011,13:01   

As said of Densy: "Don't bring a cabbage to a brain fight."

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"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

  
Schroedinger's Dog



Posts: 1691
Joined: Jan. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 14 2011,06:04   

Copied from UD thread 3:

Quote
Just a notice to anybody of the male persuasion who is  planning to propose to me, in an elevator, phone booth or anywhere else:          
Quote

I am fully armed at all times.

I carry a concealed O'Leary and I know how to use it!  

Don't fuck with me or I'll have her explain Weasel to you.

In Canadian.



--------------
"Hail is made out of water? Are you really that stupid?" Joe G

"I have a better suggestion, Kris. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself instead." Louis

"The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit" Richard Pryor

   
Tracy P. Hamilton



Posts: 1234
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 14 2011,07:07   

A few postscripts short of a kairosfocus reply.

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"Following what I just wrote about fitness, you’re taking refuge in what we see in the world."  PaV

"The simple equation F = MA leads to the concept of four-dimensional space." GilDodgen

"We have no brain, I don't, for thinking." Robert Byers

  
OgreMkV



Posts: 3259
Joined: Oct. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 14 2011,07:46   

Quote (Tracy P. Hamilton @ July 14 2011,07:07)
A few postscripts short of a kairosfocus reply.

kairosfocus reminds me of L. Ron Hubbard's Mission Earth decology.

He said in ten books, what it would take a good writer to say in about 300 pages.

Or, if you prefer

Why say it in a few sentences, when, with proper padding, you can make a dissertation out of it?

--------------
Ignored by those who can't provide evidence for their claims.

http://skepticink.com/smilodo....retreat

   
Freddie



Posts: 365
Joined: Oct. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: July 14 2011,08:05   

Too obvious?

"I WANT THE TRUTH™" ...

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" ...

--------------
Joe: Most criticisims of ID stem from ignorance and jealousy.
Joe: As for the authors of the books in the Bible, well the OT was authored by Moses and the NT was authored by various people.
Byers: The eskimo would not need hairy hair growth as hair, I say, is for keeping people dry. Not warm.

  
Gunthernacus



Posts: 232
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: July 14 2011,10:09   

The Argument Regarding Design - Zachriel

"It never fails to amuse me that the probabilty of the sun coming up yesterday remains a question for IDers" - K.E.

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Given that we are all descended from Adam and Eve...genetic defects as a result of intra-family marriage would not begin to crop up until after the first few dozen generations. - Dr. Hugh Ross

  
fnxtr



Posts: 2080
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 14 2011,23:56   

ID is the sea lice on the salmon of science.

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"But it's disturbing to think someone actually thinks creationism -- having put it's hand on the hot stove every day for the last 400 years -- will get a different result tomorrow." -- midwifetoad

  
Henry J



Posts: 3998
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: July 15 2011,09:39   

Quote (fnxtr @ July 14 2011,22:56)
ID is the sea lice on the salmon of science.

Is that its way of trying to swim upstream?

  
fnxtr



Posts: 2080
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 29 2011,18:27   

ID is a millstone on the road to understanding life.

--------------
"But it's disturbing to think someone actually thinks creationism -- having put it's hand on the hot stove every day for the last 400 years -- will get a different result tomorrow." -- midwifetoad

  
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