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  Topic: [D] I Fool Musical, in which our favourite characters SING!< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
Amadan



Posts: 1230
Joined: Jan. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,08:45   

I read that a British dance company are staging a work inspired by Darwin’s junket to the Galapagos  – video clip  here.

I have no doubt that all here share my indignation at the unfairness of this. Discussion of evolution should be balanced, preferably with grainy clips of goose-stepping Sturmabteilungen, indignantly-read scripture, and lascivious close-ups of Sarah Palin’s big, firm, round, graspable, motherly spectacles. But this we cannot do, given the meagre resources left after meeting our commitments to godless depravity and corruption of the vulnerable.

In lieu of this, and as a token of the esteem in which we all hold the folks at UD, I propose we write an operetta for them.  I give below my unworthy preliminary sketches and invite fellow misfits, nitwits and nincompoops here to add to it as they may.

I need hardly emphasise the importance of this. Without attention, ID would surely wither away and die. And then where would we be?


Yeomen of the God – A One-Note Operetta

Overture, conducted by a handsome young man in a frilly shirt

Necessarily similar to, but by no means plagiarised from, La Gaza Ladra ("The Quotemining Magpie") by Rossini)

SCENE 1

Chorus of HebrewJudeo-Christian Slaves

    Our great country’s becoming a pain in the ass
    Since they ripped out the Bible from Biology class
    Our existence is teetering on the ledge
    What we need is a strategy document called the Wedge.
    Then those libruls will get what was always their due
    And the White House will always be Red and never Blue.
    And if high-tech all moves to some foreign land
    It won’t matter ‘cause soon the Rapture will be at hand
    Let’s pray, let’s pray
    That the Rapture comes soon!
    Let’s pray, let’s pray
    That the Rapture comes soon!

[Enter Guillermo, a genius]
    I found a watch, it’s not my own, but I’ll appropriate it,
    If someone says it’s Paley’s, he’ll be excommunicated!
    It’s firmly sealed and how it works is purely hypothetical,
    But unimportant stuff like that is really just pathetical.
    This artefact no junkyard storm could possibly assemble
    And if you say Life’s not a watch, I’ll volubly dissemble.
    So by default, we must assume, Design must be Divine.
    This theory, which is all my own, is mine, I tell you, MINE!

[Enter Scrotus, Guillermo’s lackey]
    A hammer I hold o’er the heads of the herd
    Of sheep who attend to my Master’s each word.
    They soon figure out that an off-message bleat
    Will have them ejected right into the street,
    With a lump on their skull, right on top of their dome-o
    So they better remember that I am il uomo.

Scrotus: Master, do you love me?
Guillermo: Hush, fool! Do you espy that curiously shaven canine walking in a most peculiar way?
Scrotus: ‘Tis not a pooch, my lord, it is a Canooch.

[Enter Ritardella, a respectable, ummm, whatever...]
    They call me a journalist, some kind of journalist, though I can never tell why:
    My facts are selective, my grammar’s defective, my IQ would make Dave’s look high.
    I blog for homeschoolers and other such droolers, though nobody visits at all.
    I use first-class sources for all my discourses, like Fox and WorldNet and TownHall!
    I’ve written a book, with a similar kook, on the spiritual nature of mind –
    If you open my head, it’s reliably said, that there’s nothing at all you can find!

Scrotus: Master, tell me,  do you love me?
Guillermo: (Ignores Scrotus’s pleading) Ritardella, come to me.
Ritardella: Lose the fat kid first.

To Be Continued



Edited by Lou FCD on Sep. 03 2009,21:18

--------------
"People are always looking for natural selection to generate random mutations" - Densye  4-4-2011
JoeG BTW dumbass- some variations help ensure reproductive fitness so they cannot be random wrt it.

   
paragwinn



Posts: 376
Joined: Mar. 2008

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,11:13   

Bravo! (To be continued)  :)

--------------
All women build up a resistance [to male condescension]. Apparently, ID did not predict that. -Kristine 4-19-11
F/Ns to F/Ns to F/Ns etc. The whole thing is F/N ridiculous -Seversky on KF footnote fetish 8-20-11
The geological maps that realist use to make money are all surface maps. -forastero

  
Dr.GH



Posts: 1946
Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,11:17   

Scrotus: Master, do you love me?
Guillermo: Hush, fool! Do you espy that curiously shaven canine walking in a most peculiar way?
Scrotus: ‘Tis not a pooch, my lord, it is a Canooch.

I have not laughed like that for days! Thanks!

--------------
"Science is the horse that pulls the cart of philosophy."

L. Susskind, 2004 "SMOLIN VS. SUSSKIND: THE ANTHROPIC PRINCIPLE"

   
paragwinn



Posts: 376
Joined: Mar. 2008

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,11:23   

Guillermo: Hush, fool! Do you espy that curiously shaven canine walking in a most peculiar way?
Scrotus: ‘Tis not a pooch, my lord, it is a Canooch.



--------------
All women build up a resistance [to male condescension]. Apparently, ID did not predict that. -Kristine 4-19-11
F/Ns to F/Ns to F/Ns etc. The whole thing is F/N ridiculous -Seversky on KF footnote fetish 8-20-11
The geological maps that realist use to make money are all surface maps. -forastero

  
someotherguy



Posts: 367
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,11:37   

Somebody get Cuttlefish in here.  He was born for this!

--------------
Evolander in training

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10006
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,12:00   

POTW^2

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4354
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,12:10   

Very minor adaptation gives us the following:

U. D. Has Clowns

Aren’t they dumb?
Why aren’t they fair?
We here with facts on the ground
I.D. is air
UD has clowns

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
We who keep testing around,
While I. D. can’t prove.
They’re nothing but  clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Know that we won’t stop opening labs
Finally working results, keeping the tabs
Making science again with our usual flair
But I.D. does not
Nothing is there

Don't you love farts?
It’s Dembski I fear.
He thought that we'd want what he dealt
No, sorry, not here
Dembski’s a clown
Quick, sweater the clowns.
Don't bother, they're there

Aren’t they dumb?
Aren’t they queer,
UD attracts cranks both far and near
They are such clowns
There ought to be clowns.
At U. D. next year.

* with apologies to Steven Sondheim

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Schroedinger's Dog



Posts: 1691
Joined: Jan. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,12:17   

Brilliant, just plain brilliant!

I'm game for the soundtrack if needed :)

--------------
"Hail is made out of water? Are you really that stupid?" Joe G

"I have a better suggestion, Kris. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself instead." Louis

"The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit" Richard Pryor

   
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,15:49   

This is masterful Amadan.

All our base belong to you, you win some free LOLCats, a bushel of internets and no free goes on Arden*.

See, I can be nice.

Louis

* Second prize, exactly as above but with 2 free goes on Arden.

--------------
Bye.

  
Amadan



Posts: 1230
Joined: Jan. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,16:37   

Quote (paragwinn @ Sep. 03 2009,11:23)
Guillermo: Hush, fool! Do you espy that curiously shaven canine walking in a most peculiar way?
Scrotus: ‘Tis not a pooch, my lord, it is a Canooch.


*snorf*

But could you not get an autographed copy of this marvellous portrait?

Scene 2, in which we introduce the dastardly Don Ricardo, is gestating. Comic relief, in the form of the Rastafarian duo Tiki and his contradictory alter-ego Gem, follows in Scenes 3 to 17 (as well as a post-script and several intermezzi), leading up to the dramatic trial scene presided over by Sheriff Bangy and a jury of onlookers!

J-Dog, Sondheim forgives you. But not the other lazy shites here who thought I didn't mean what I said about everyone contributing. Even if only plot suggestions by PM, if you're feeling shy, like.

--------------
"People are always looking for natural selection to generate random mutations" - Densye  4-4-2011
JoeG BTW dumbass- some variations help ensure reproductive fitness so they cannot be random wrt it.

   
khan



Posts: 1478
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,16:42   

Can there be a brief tragic moment when DrDr realizes that his entire life has been a self-imposed tragedy (absurdity?)?

But then realizes it is too late to change?

--------------
"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10006
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,17:04   

Quote (Amadan @ Sep. 03 2009,16:37)
J-Dog, Sondheim forgives you. But not the other lazy shites here who thought I didn't mean what I said about everyone contributing. Even if only plot suggestions by PM, if you're feeling shy, like.

SO THERES LIEK THIS ROWBOT THAT IS CALLED RICHTARDTHUGE AND HE IS TEH BEST AND HIS LAYSERS GO 'PEW-PEW' AND HE KILLS DARF VADER AND HAS A SPACESHIP AND IS ALSO A POPSTAR.

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
khan



Posts: 1478
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,17:35   

A tragic solo when denied entrance to the cafeteria?

--------------
"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

  
someotherguy



Posts: 367
Joined: Aug. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,17:56   

Quote (khan @ Sep. 03 2009,17:35)
A tragic solo when denied entrance to the cafeteria?

Something like this?  



DAAAAAAAWKINSSSSSS!!!!

--------------
Evolander in training

  
afarensis



Posts: 1001
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,19:07   

In ancient Greek comedy the actors wore long phallic-like objects strapped to their, umm, phallus. They engaged in a lot of horse play - every time someone in Aristophanes says "here, hold this" and such like other phrases, that is what they are referring too. This idea should be incorporated into your opera.

--------------
Church burning ebola boy

FTK: I Didn't answer your questions because it beats the hell out of me.

PaV: I suppose for me to be pried away from what I do to focus long and hard on that particular problem would take, quite honestly, hundreds of thousands of dollars to begin to pique my interest.

   
deadman_932



Posts: 3092
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,19:40   

Quote (afarensis @ Sep. 03 2009,19:07)
In ancient Greek comedy the actors wore long phallic-like objects strapped to their, umm, phallus. They engaged in a lot of horse play - every time someone in Aristophanes says "here, hold this" and such like other phrases, that is what they are referring too. This idea should be incorporated into your opera.

Accurate codpieces for everyone! Erm, except Densey -- she has her own. Real. And Gab of Talky says it's spectacular.

ETA: Genius, Amadan. Genius.

--------------
AtBC Award for Thoroughness in the Face of Creationism

  
afarensis



Posts: 1001
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 03 2009,20:01   

Quote (deadman_932 @ Sep. 03 2009,19:40)
Quote (afarensis @ Sep. 03 2009,19:07)
In ancient Greek comedy the actors wore long phallic-like objects strapped to their, umm, phallus. They engaged in a lot of horse play - every time someone in Aristophanes says "here, hold this" and such like other phrases, that is what they are referring too. This idea should be incorporated into your opera.

Accurate codpieces for everyone! Erm, except Densey -- she has her own. Real. And Gab of Talky says it's spectacular.

ETA: Genius, Amadan. Genius.

Codpeices? Feh!! These were like 3-4 feet long and flexible. Imagine a stuffed snake...

--------------
Church burning ebola boy

FTK: I Didn't answer your questions because it beats the hell out of me.

PaV: I suppose for me to be pried away from what I do to focus long and hard on that particular problem would take, quite honestly, hundreds of thousands of dollars to begin to pique my interest.

   
DaveH



Posts: 45
Joined: July 2009

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 04 2009,02:20   

The RING CYCLE (abridged)

SCENE: A fantastical fitness landscape with many snow-covered inaccessible peaks.

ENTER: A ridiculous little man in silly round spectacles. His mighty horned helmet of personal incredulity keeps slipping over his eyes. He is wearing a rather stylish sweater.

Elmer WaDD (for it is he!) sings: "Be vewwy quiet! I'm hunting weasels!"

WaDD spots a wabbit hole. He feeds the barrel of his shotgun into it, not aware that the barrel pops up out of another hole behind him and points at his arse.

He pulls the trigger of "peer-review" and shoots self in the ring-piece.

Bugs R Welsberry (casualy chewing carrot): Meeeeeh, What's up, DocDoc?



FINIS

  
carlsonjok



Posts: 3323
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 04 2009,05:40   

Quote (afarensis @ Sep. 03 2009,19:07)
In ancient Greek comedy the actors wore long phallic-like objects strapped to their, umm, phallus. They engaged in a lot of horse play - every time someone in Aristophanes says "here, hold this" and such like other phrases, that is what they are referring too. This idea should be incorporated into your opera.

So, like, you are saying k.e is going to be appearing as himself?

--------------
It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it.  We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

  
afarensis



Posts: 1001
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 04 2009,07:47   

Quote (carlsonjok @ Sep. 04 2009,05:40)
Quote (afarensis @ Sep. 03 2009,19:07)
In ancient Greek comedy the actors wore long phallic-like objects strapped to their, umm, phallus. They engaged in a lot of horse play - every time someone in Aristophanes says "here, hold this" and such like other phrases, that is what they are referring too. This idea should be incorporated into your opera.

So, like, you are saying k.e is going to be appearing as himself?

That is a great idea....

--------------
Church burning ebola boy

FTK: I Didn't answer your questions because it beats the hell out of me.

PaV: I suppose for me to be pried away from what I do to focus long and hard on that particular problem would take, quite honestly, hundreds of thousands of dollars to begin to pique my interest.

   
dogdidit



Posts: 315
Joined: Mar. 2008

(Permalink) Posted: Sep. 04 2009,08:21   

Quote (DaveH @ Sep. 04 2009,02:20)
The RING CYCLE (abridged)

SCENE: A fantastical fitness landscape with many snow-covered inaccessible peaks.

ENTER: A ridiculous little man in silly round spectacles. His mighty horned helmet of personal incredulity keeps slipping over his eyes. He is wearing a rather stylish sweater.

Elmer WaDD (for it is he!) sings: "Be vewwy quiet! I'm hunting weasels!"

WaDD spots a wabbit hole. He feeds the barrel of his shotgun into it, not aware that the barrel pops up out of another hole behind him and points at his arse.

He pulls the trigger of "peer-review" and shoots self in the ring-piece.

Bugs R Welsberry (casualy chewing carrot): Meeeeeh, What's up, DocDoc?



FINIS

This scene comes after the Good Dr^2 and his minions do a quick little vaudeville song-and-dance piece, avec canes and straw boaters:

‘SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS’
is a string that weasels find but only if precocious-
-ly we add that mystic stuff lurved by the whole TARD nation:
Functionally specified and complex information!


--------------
"Humans carry plants and animals all over the globe, thus introducing them to places they could never have reached on their own. That certainly increases biodiversity." - D'OL

  
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