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Louis Posts: 6436 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,11:34    Quote (OgreMkV @ Aug. 25 2011,14:37) Quote (Erasmus @ FCD,Aug. 25 2011,07:54) congrats SD I have always said everyone should have the right to be miserable!  just kidding sorta I guess SD just got tired of having sex every night. This man and woman were getting married. Just before she was due to walk up the aisle the bride got her maid of honour to take a note to the nervous groom waiting by the altar with his best man. The note said "Meet me in the vestry" and dutifully the groom went off to meet his affianced bride in the vestry. Concerned, he entered the room and asked his beautiful bride what was the matter. She said nothing at all, she just silently lifted her veil, dropped to her knees in front of her beloved groom, unzipped his old chap and proceeded to give him the best blow job he had ever had in his life. After finishing up and tidying themselves the groom returned to his position by the altar with the best man and the maid of honour rushed into the vestry to check on the bride. The groom looked over to his best man with a broad smile on his face and whispered "I have just been given the best blow job of my life by a gorgeous woman. That woman is the woman I am marrying. I'm the luckiest man alive!". Meanwhile in the vestry, the beaming bride looked at her maid of honour and said "Well that's that done. I've given my last blow job!". The maid of honour smiled. True story.....or is it? Louis P.S. SD, don't take all the ribbing about marriage from us too seriously. When my son was born I got endless grief, people kept telling me Arden was the father. That's not true of course. But he is a mother.... ;-) -------------- Bye.

Reciprocating Bill Posts: 4213 Joined: Oct. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,12:23    Quote (Louis @ Aug. 25 2011,05:36) Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 25 2011,08:25) Thanks all for the kind words! There will be a photo album. And cake. And champagne. And probably that couple Carlson linked to. Louis and the Missus (and the Spawn): standing invitation if available when the date is decided, of course. The Spawn is currently 2 and a bit, and thus unfit for human consumption. We'll leave him taped to the wall somewhere with a feeding tube and a series of timed hoses. What? WHAT? That's humane! Kids don't even form proper memories until they're about three. Bleeding heart liberals. It didn't do me any harm! {Twitch} {Gibber} Louis If you're gonna do that, tape him up here on the bathroom wall so we can all cuff him under the chin and poke him and stuff. (Make sure he's face out and appropriately attired.) -------------- Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be. "The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you." - David Foster Wallace

fnxtr Posts: 1806 Joined: June 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,12:27    The father of the bride warned the groom before the wedding, "I don't know if she told you about her medical problems, but please don't get her, you know, too excited. My daughter has acute angina." The groom said "Great! That'll make up for her small tits!" The young couple eloped to Vegas, and after an Elvis wedding they went to find a room to celebrate.  The groom told the concierge "We want something special, it's a spontaneous honeymoon!" The concierge said, "Well, we have many fine suites, would you like the bridal?" The groom blinks, then says, "No, I'll just hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it." -------------- "But it's disturbing to think someone actually thinks creationism -- having put it's hand on the hot stove every day for the last 400 years -- will get a different result tomorrow." -- midwifetoad

J-Dog Posts: 4304 Joined: Dec. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,12:39    Quote True story.....or is it? A True Gentleman™ never tells - let's ask FTK! -------------- Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10 Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08 UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

Louis Posts: 6436 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,16:44    A shy young couple were on their wedding night, very much like yourself and Ali, SD. You know, virginal, well behaved, devoutly religious, that sort of people. As they approached the moment of consummation they began to undress with the new husband taking the lead. He first took of his shoes and socks, and his bride noticed that his toes were all gnarled and crooked. She questioned him about this deformity and he replied that as a child he'd suffered from toelio. "Surely you mean polio?" she said, and he replied "No, no. Toelio. It affects the toes.". She thought better of it and watched him undress more. He pulled down his trousers and she noticed his knees were broken looking and knobbly. "Wow! What happened to your knees?" she said. "Oh not much, I just had kneesles when I was a teenager." her new beau replied. "Kneesles? Surely you mean measles." she replied. "No, no, my beloved. Kneesles is a disease of the knees.". Again, eager to get to the sex she'd heard so much about she kindly dropped the conversations. With a shy grin the man then dropped his trousers revealing his genitals with a light flourish. His bride gasped and said "Wait, don't tell me. Smallcox.". Louis -------------- Bye.

Schroedinger's Dog Posts: 1678 Joined: Jan. 2009 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,18:06    Marriage is a wonderful institution that allows two people to face together the problems they would never have had if they didn't marry. Thanks again for the kind words and encouragements. And jokes. Keep them coming! -------------- "Hail is made out of water? Are you really that stupid?" Joe G "I have a better suggestion, Kris. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself instead." Louis "The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit" Richard Pryor

midwifetoad Posts: 3144 Joined: Mar. 2008 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,18:17    Like kittens, after a week the eyes open. -------------- ... a poster child for irresponsible and deceitful misrepresentation of design theory on the Internet. http://tinyurl.com/9axtwbe....9axtwbe

OgreMkV Posts: 2924 Joined: Oct. 2009 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,19:14    To quote Marcus (from the movie Bad Boys) "That's what married means... you sleep together, but you can't get none." -------------- Ignored by those who can't provide evidence for their claims. http://skepticink.com/smilodo....retreat

rhmc Posts: 340 Joined: Dec. 2007 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,19:26    a man is not compleate until he is married. then he is finished.

Louis Posts: 6436 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,19:40    Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 26 2011,00:06) Marriage is a wonderful institution that allows two people to face together the problems they would never have had if they didn't marry. Thanks again for the kind words and encouragements. And jokes. Keep them coming! Don't get me wrong. I love being married. At least the wife tells me I love it and I agree with her. Louis -------------- Bye.

carlsonjok Posts: 3323 Joined: May 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 25 2011,19:41    Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 25 2011,18:06) Marriage is a wonderful institution that allows two people to face together the problems they would never have had if they didn't marry. Thanks again for the kind words and encouragements. And jokes. Keep them coming! I wouldn't consider it a joke, but more like useful bromide: Women get married thinking everything is going to change. Men get married thinking nothing is going to change*. * Many of the problems mi espousa and I had in the first few years of marriage could have been mitigated if someone had told me this beforehand**. **I've been happily married for 5 years.  Our wedding date was September 26, 1992. -------------- It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it.  We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

rhmc Posts: 340 Joined: Dec. 2007 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,07:19    33rd anniversary is today. so we'll wander out to the beach and watch Irene pass by...

Schroedinger's Dog Posts: 1678 Joined: Jan. 2009 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,07:33    2 guys are out playing golf when a hearse passes by with a small procession. One of the guys removes his golf cap and keeps a minute of silence before rsuming his play. His friend goes: -"Wow, that was pretty decent of you." -"Well, we were married for 35 years after all." ETA: typos -------------- "Hail is made out of water? Are you really that stupid?" Joe G "I have a better suggestion, Kris. How about a game of hide and go fuck yourself instead." Louis "The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bullshit" Richard Pryor

Henry J Posts: 3738 Joined: Mar. 2005 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,10:41    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" . . . . The father replied, . . . . . . "I don't know son, . I'm still paying for it.

Mindrover Posts: 57 Joined: April 2010 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,13:09    Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 25 2011,18:06) Marriage is a wonderful institution that allows two people to face together the problems they would never have had if they didn't marry. Thanks again for the kind words and encouragements. And jokes. Keep them coming! Just before my marriage, my Dad gave me this advice: There will be times in your marriage where you can be right or happy. Choose wisely.

Louis Posts: 6436 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,13:57    Quote (rhmc @ Aug. 26 2011,13:19) 33rd anniversary is today. so we'll wander out to the beach and watch Irene pass by... Does your wife know who Irene is? Or have you managed to keep her a secret for 33 years you sly dog? Louis -------------- Bye.

fnxtr Posts: 1806 Joined: June 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,14:42    Quote (Mindrover @ Aug. 26 2011,11:09) Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 25 2011,18:06) Marriage is a wonderful institution that allows two people to face together the problems they would never have had if they didn't marry. Thanks again for the kind words and encouragements. And jokes. Keep them coming! Just before my marriage, my Dad gave me this advice: There will be times in your marriage where you can be right or happy. Choose wisely. I asked my dad once how they managed to keep it together for so long (40+ years at the time, I think). He said, "We let each other be wrong". -------------- "But it's disturbing to think someone actually thinks creationism -- having put it's hand on the hot stove every day for the last 400 years -- will get a different result tomorrow." -- midwifetoad

Lou FCD Posts: 5244 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,15:54    Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 24 2011,21:04) Fuck all if anyone cares, but Ali and I are going to try and get married before the end oh this year. I'll try to plan something virtual on the side so you can all be guests! Happy! Hey, go you, SD! -------------- Lou FCD is still in school, so we should only count him as a baby biologist. - carlsonjok - deprecated I think I might love you. Don't tell Deadman - Wolfhound Seduction by Louis, my NSFW new photography website.

khan Posts: 1459 Joined: May 2007 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,16:12    Quote (carlsonjok @ Aug. 25 2011,20:41) Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 25 2011,18:06) Marriage is a wonderful institution that allows two people to face together the problems they would never have had if they didn't marry. Thanks again for the kind words and encouragements. And jokes. Keep them coming! I wouldn't consider it a joke, but more like useful bromide: Women get married thinking everything is going to change. Men get married thinking nothing is going to change*. * Many of the problems mi espousa and I had in the first few years of marriage could have been mitigated if someone had told me this beforehand**. **I've been happily married for 5 years.  Our wedding date was September 26, 1992. My EX apparently thought that once I was 'wife' I would joyfully to all housework/yardwork/house maintenance... He thought I was going to change. -------------- "Stupid people try to find evidence that they're right. Smart people try to find evidence that they're wrong." -stevestory "It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

Texas Teach Posts: 716 Joined: April 2007 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,16:49    I fell in love with my wife in 3 days. It took me 6 months to get her to fall in love with me. I've spent the last 15 years of our marriage making sure we stayed that way, and it's been a blast. -------------- "Creationists think everything Genesis says is true. I don't even think Phil Collins is a good drummer." --J. Carr

J-Dog Posts: 4304 Joined: Dec. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,18:48    Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,16:49) I fell in love with my wife in 3 days. It took me 6 months to get her to fall in love with me. I've spent the last 15 years of our marriage making sure we stayed that way, and it's been a blast. Way to go TT... It's guys like you that make it tough for guys like me! I'll bet you don't even leave the toilet seat up, and even remember birthdays and aniversaries! -------------- Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10 Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08 UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

Texas Teach Posts: 716 Joined: April 2007 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 26 2011,19:13    Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 26 2011,18:48) Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,16:49) I fell in love with my wife in 3 days. It took me 6 months to get her to fall in love with me. I've spent the last 15 years of our marriage making sure we stayed that way, and it's been a blast. Way to go TT... It's guys like you that make it tough for guys like me! :( I'll bet you don't even leave the toilet seat up, and even remember birthdays and aniversaries! If it makes you feel better, I do let my clothes pile up in the floor rather than the hamper. -------------- "Creationists think everything Genesis says is true. I don't even think Phil Collins is a good drummer." --J. Carr

Louis Posts: 6436 Joined: Jan. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,07:47    Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,22:49) I fell in love with my wife in 3 days. It took me 6 months to get her to fall in love with me. I've spent the last 15 years of our marriage making sure we stayed that way, and it's been a blast. Here we were making perfectly traditional jokes about beleaguered husbands and shrewish wives and you had to go and ruin it with love. Get a grip man! It's perfectly reasonable to love one's wife, and perhaps even one's children, but a gentleman doesn't mention it. It's remarkably close to bragging and is generally not cricket. In the more refined clubs in society such behaviour can have you black balled. Go and stand in the corner and think about what you've done. Louis -------------- Bye.

J-Dog Posts: 4304 Joined: Dec. 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,08:13    Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,19:13) Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 26 2011,18:48) Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,16:49) I fell in love with my wife in 3 days. It took me 6 months to get her to fall in love with me. I've spent the last 15 years of our marriage making sure we stayed that way, and it's been a blast. Way to go TT... It's guys like you that make it tough for guys like me! :( I'll bet you don't even leave the toilet seat up, and even remember birthdays and aniversaries! If it makes you feel better, I do let my clothes pile up in the floor rather than the hamper. Yes, thank you very much!   Belching and scratching would also be good. ps:  And what Louis said! -------------- Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10 Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08 UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

Dr.GH Posts: 1864 Joined: May 2002 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,09:37    Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 24 2011,18:04) Fuck all if anyone cares, but Ali and I are going to try and get married before the end oh this year. I'll try to plan something virtual on the side so you can all be guests! Happy! Congratulations. Best wishes.

OgreMkV Posts: 2924 Joined: Oct. 2009 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,12:36    Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 27 2011,08:13) Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,19:13) Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 26 2011,18:48)   Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,16:49) I fell in love with my wife in 3 days. It took me 6 months to get her to fall in love with me. I've spent the last 15 years of our marriage making sure we stayed that way, and it's been a blast. Way to go TT... It's guys like you that make it tough for guys like me! :( I'll bet you don't even leave the toilet seat up, and even remember birthdays and aniversaries! If it makes you feel better, I do let my clothes pile up in the floor rather than the hamper. Yes, thank you very much!   Belching and scratching would also be good. ps:  And what Louis said! Lexie and I will be celebrating 16 years in December.  It hasn't been always beer and skittles, but I wouldn't be where I am with out her (and vice versa). -------------- Ignored by those who can't provide evidence for their claims. http://skepticink.com/smilodo....retreat

fnxtr Posts: 1806 Joined: June 2006 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,13:07    It's only been 9 years for Kelly and eye (4 co-habiting), but I still feel like Scrooge did on Christmas morning, all the time. :-) "I don't deserve to be so happy.... but I just can't help it!" -------------- "But it's disturbing to think someone actually thinks creationism -- having put it's hand on the hot stove every day for the last 400 years -- will get a different result tomorrow." -- midwifetoad

Texas Teach Posts: 716 Joined: April 2007 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,13:33    Quote (Louis @ Aug. 27 2011,07:47) Quote (Texas Teach @ Aug. 26 2011,22:49) I fell in love with my wife in 3 days. It took me 6 months to get her to fall in love with me. I've spent the last 15 years of our marriage making sure we stayed that way, and it's been a blast. Here we were making perfectly traditional jokes about beleaguered husbands and shrewish wives and you had to go and ruin it with love. Get a grip man! It's perfectly reasonable to love one's wife, and perhaps even one's children, but a gentleman doesn't mention it. It's remarkably close to bragging and is generally not cricket. In the more refined clubs in society such behaviour can have you black balled. Go and stand in the corner and think about what you've done. Louis Oops.  Sorry about that.  <searches for the appropriate apology> I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future. -------------- "Creationists think everything Genesis says is true. I don't even think Phil Collins is a good drummer." --J. Carr

JLT Posts: 740 Joined: Jan. 2008 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,13:34    Quote (Dr.GH @ Aug. 27 2011,15:37) Quote (Schroedinger's Dog @ Aug. 24 2011,18:04) Fuck all if anyone cares, but Ali and I are going to try and get married before the end oh this year. I'll try to plan something virtual on the side so you can all be guests! Happy! Congratulations. Best wishes. From me, too! And, obviously, I just say that to be on the virtual guest list. -------------- "Random mutations, if they are truly random, will affect, and potentially damage, any aspect of the organism, [...] Thus, a realistic [computer] simulation [of evolution] would allow the program, OS, and hardware to be affected in a random fashion." GilDodgen, Frilly shirt owner

midwifetoad Posts: 3144 Joined: Mar. 2008 (Permalink) Posted: Aug. 27 2011,13:48    My favorite wedding song. Feel free to skip to to about 7:20 for the best wedding wish on record. Had a friend do it at my wedding, 41 years ago, and it worked. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v....gbHs9eo -------------- ... a poster child for irresponsible and deceitful misrepresentation of design theory on the Internet. http://tinyurl.com/9axtwbe....9axtwbe

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