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  Topic: Open letter to Uncommon Descent.< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10762
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 20 2007,16:09   

Dear UDers,
I write this in the hope that it is spotted by one of you surfacing to take on a little reality before deep diving back into the depths of Tard. Whilst this may seem critical, please take it in a positive way; I only want to keep the quality of your unintentional hilarity high.

1. Understand your market

UD is a bit like the O'Reilly factor in that you're not really connected with reality in any meaningful way and most of your viewers tune in to laugh at you. Embrace you veiwership and cater to their needs. I've noticed no "best month evaaaaaaaar!" posts for UD recently, you're going to have to lower your game / raise your tard to push on from here. I therefore offer these helpful hints:

2. More of this, please

<> SLoT type stuff. I love Fundy SLoT: "all particles must runaway from each other and shit". Tell me more! Invent new laws and name them after yourselves (Sal!)
<> Dave's Diets. Yes I know this was from FTK's now defunct blog, but it was the human interest story UD needs. Fatty boom-boom Springer can opine about how he's lost 45 pounds this week eating rice and berries and is no longer a bloater, whilst cleverly working in "fuzzy logic rice cookers". It's got emotional hooks, 'n shit.
<> ANTI ACLU posts. These have always been good. The big guns come out and get very, very upset about things they don't understand. Let's face it; if the ACLU do it, you don't like it.
<> Bible passages. Nothing supports creation science teaching to kids like the bible.
<> Telling us about waterloo. How long? How will NDE crumble? What will the world be like? Will there still be atheists?


3. Less of this, please


<> Dembski hiding. When experts from the world of stats come and want to talk CSI, he's nowhere to be found. If someone posts about a beaver that looks like Darwin, or other minutia, he's got comments two and three posted in about one minute.
<> General Science Denying. Deadly DCA was good, global warming was bad. You're too hit and miss, guys. Go with what you (don't) know.
<> Denyse. Yes Yes she's got books to sell, doesn't write so well and believes in hell. The humour is only generated because she outranks Davetard. But her writing is so clunky as to be offensive.
<> Using Google to search for the word "design" in biology articles.

Thanks fellas, and keep up the bad work!

Rich

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
Henry J



Posts: 4792
Joined: Mar. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 20 2007,16:56   

I wonder if maybe writers of pep talks also need to understand their market...  :p

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 20 2007,18:19   

Under the "More Of This" Heading:

More Predictions Please!

From the Wedge Doc's crushed ambitions to Dembski's Death Of Darwinism in 10 Years, (now down to 9 - thank you Kristine for keeping track) you have ALWAYS failed to produce anything... except for more Bwa-Ha Ha's from us.

Who among us now does not remember DaveTard "hisself's" pre-Dover prediction with a smile in our hearts?    

Who among us now does not recall with equal joy Demsbksi's ID will have a Major Laboratory soon?
(Did he mean "lavatory" perhaps?

So, all you Loyal UDers.. please predict!  We know you can do it.  It's front-loaded, so let it all out - the Designer clearly designed it that way.

Under the "Less Of This":

Please do not show any more pictures of Denyse.

Ever.  

Thank You.

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
blipey



Posts: 2061
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,00:40   

Gold.  24K, pure.

--------------
But I get the trick question- there isn't any such thing as one molecule of water. -JoeG

And scientists rarely test theories. -Gary Gaulin

   
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,00:48   

Less of the "Dawkins eats boogers and PZ smelt of elderberries ?- oopsy, oh, it seems that one of our readers misinformed me again "retractions" from Demb Ass, and more of the classic Denyse "we be riffin' offa dis bi-bull, so y'all be cuhl" gramma-pop affectation!

And baby photos! Baby photos! :)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
k.e



Posts: 1948
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,09:31   

Yes, yes yes but what about D.T.'s rampage in the the pahhandle with all those old heifers? Who wants to know about boogers, luddites and logical falluscies. Give me the juice. How many lap dancers and when, no weasling.

One shot of double malt alcopop for his Dumpskiness and a good spanking from his pumped biceped and hairsuited mom and he goes to water. St. Johns (The Baptist) water. D.T. is a mommys pussy.

--------------
The conservative has but little to fear from the man whose reason is the servant of his passions, but let him beware of him in whom reason has become the greatest and most terrible of the passions.These are the wreckers of outworn empires and civilisations, doubters, disintegrators, deicides.Haldane

   
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,09:59   

Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 20 2007,17:19)
Under the "Less Of This":

Please do not show any more pictures of Denyse.

Ever. ?

Thank You.

Aww, J-Dog, she's been trying out a new style - c'mon, give her a break. I salute sistah Denyse for breaking out - girl, let's you and I meet in the Ladies Room sometime (they let me in because they're polite) and once I'm done with you I'll send you back to your table alone and stand nodding at the door as you're trailed by ten blood-hounds. Life is short, bland-n-beautiful is boring (you men), and we're all evolution's children after all! :)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10762
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,10:24   

No improvements as yet. I'm holding off buying "Days of Peleg" until they do.

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
Louis



Posts: 6436
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,10:32   

Quote (Kristine @ Aug. 21 2007,15:59)
Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 20 2007,17:19)
Under the "Less Of This":

Please do not show any more pictures of Denyse.

Ever. ?

Thank You.

Aww, J-Dog, she's been trying out a new style - c'mon, give her a break. I salute sistah Denyse for breaking out - girl, let's you and I meet in the Ladies Room sometime (they let me in because they're polite) and once I'm done with you I'll send you back to your table alone and stand nodding at the door as you're trailed by ten blood-hounds. Life is short, bland-n-beautiful is boring (you men), and we're all evolution's children after all! :)

All very true and commenable ID Pleasurian wife number....ooooh I lose count.

It is a person's right and privilege to be ugly. Long gone are the days when women or men are judged solely on their physical appearance. The shallow whims and mores of the terminally vapid fashionistas appeal to those without the substance to realise that beauty, true beauty, comes deep from within. Anyone can be ugly.

That said, some people do abuse the privilege. After all beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone!

Louis

P.S. UD: More of: Utter absence, Less of: Pretending to be knowledgeable and intelligent.

P.P.S. I'm not saying certain male and female members of UD are less than fulsomely pulchritudinous. But if I had a dog that looked like {insert name here} I would shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards.

--------------
Bye.

  
stevestory



Posts: 10394
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,10:36   

I want to see more posts from Gil and BarryA like "My career as a (lawyer / 'lectrical engineer / railway conductor) gives me speshul insight into why all the scientists are wrong" and less Denyse O'Leary.

More of Davescot's completely out-to-lunch physics lectures would be good too.

   
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,10:41   

Quote (Louis @ Aug. 21 2007,09:32)
 
Quote (Kristine @ Aug. 21 2007,15:59)
?
Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 20 2007,17:19)
Under the "Less Of This":

Please do not show any more pictures of Denyse.

Ever. ?

Thank You.

Aww, J-Dog, she's been trying out a new style - c'mon, give her a break. I salute sistah Denyse for breaking out - girl, let's you and I meet in the Ladies Room sometime (they let me in because they're polite) and once I'm done with you I'll send you back to your table alone and stand nodding at the door as you're trailed by ten blood-hounds. Life is short, bland-n-beautiful is boring (you men), and we're all evolution's children after all! :)

All very true and commenable ID Pleasurian wife number....ooooh I lose count.

It is a person's right and privilege to be ugly. Long gone are the days when women or men are judged solely on their physical appearance. The shallow whims and mores of the terminally vapid fashionistas appeal to those without the substance to realise that beauty, true beauty, comes deep from within. Anyone can be ugly.

That said, some people do abuse the privilege. After all beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone!

Louis

P.S. UD: More of: Utter absence, Less of: Pretending to be knowledgeable and intelligent.

P.P.S. I'm not saying certain male and female members of UD are less than fulsomely pulchritudinous. But if I had a dog that looked like {insert name here} I would shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards.

Okay, so those 10 blood-hounds be walkin' backwards then.

Hell, I talk outta my butt all the time and let my tongue do the walking doncha know. :)

How about more of: If Mount Rushmore was of those president's butts not faces, would we detect design then? After all, butts look more like mountains than Mohammed, but don't the UDudes worship the butt-putt (flagellum)? Paradox. Love a par-a-dox.

I'm laughing so hard I gotta sit down (how, where)? ;)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
k.e



Posts: 1948
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,10:50   

Quote
Hell, I talk outta my butt all the time and let my tongue do the walking doncha know.


Ahhhh!

Kristine don't tell me, the funiest person you know is yourself? ..erm apart from RTH.

--------------
The conservative has but little to fear from the man whose reason is the servant of his passions, but let him beware of him in whom reason has become the greatest and most terrible of the passions.These are the wreckers of outworn empires and civilisations, doubters, disintegrators, deicides.Haldane

   
Richardthughes



Posts: 10762
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,11:01   

Do we any way of sending our requests to the UDers? Dembski wont mind, more traffic = more ad revenue after all.

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
k.e



Posts: 1948
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,11:06   

Yup use one of these.

Toy cow catapult

--------------
The conservative has but little to fear from the man whose reason is the servant of his passions, but let him beware of him in whom reason has become the greatest and most terrible of the passions.These are the wreckers of outworn empires and civilisations, doubters, disintegrators, deicides.Haldane

   
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,12:28   

A re-quest for the holey grail?

*French accent* Well, I'll tell Dembski, but I don't think he'll be too keen - he's already got one, you see.

*Whisper* Dembski thinks he's already got one! *AtBCers muffle their guffaws.*
?
Quote (k.e @ Aug. 21 2007,09:50)
? ?
Quote
Hell, I talk outta my butt all the time and let my tongue do the walking doncha know.


Ahhhh!

Kristine don't tell me, the funiest person you know is yourself? ..erm apart from RTH.

Well if you must know I make me laugh.

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Reciprocating Bill



Posts: 4265
Joined: Oct. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,20:30   

More:

- Apologies that aren't really apologies from The Big Head.
- 404 errors (same link).
- Occasions for apologies that aren't really apologies from The Big Head.
- 404 errors (same link).
- Praying marines pratfalls.
- "I meant to do that" leaps from the floor following praying marines pratfalls.
- Demands that commenters acknowledge the secure scientific basis of common descent.
- 404 errors at links pointing to demands that commenters acknowledge the secure scientific basis of common descent.
- Dave storming away from UD.
- Dave slinking back to UD.
- Admiring analyses of conservative judicial personages.
- Vicious character assassinations of self-same conservative judicial personages, one week later.
- Farting flash animations named after self-same conservative judicial personages, three weeks later.
- Silent flash animations named after self-same conservative judicial personages, four weeks later.

Less/Fewer:

- Serious discussions of scientific and philosophical issues.
- Comprehensive awareness of the relevant scientific literatures and settled scientific discourse.
- Tedious reports of careful lab work testing hypotheses generated within ID framework. (Enough already!)
- Boring disclosures of arduous paleontological fieldwork motivated by ID.
- Patient, respectful, effective engagement with informed critical commentary.
- Humility, honesty, self-awareness, and capacity to acknowledge and learn from errors.
- Rock circles, mystery Indians, meadows sprouting laptops, mutating hardware, boathouse mushrooms, DCA, detachable ghost psychology, clown terror...

--------------
Myth: Something that never was true, and always will be.

"The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
- David Foster Wallace

"Here’s a clue. Snarky banalities are not a substitute for saying something intelligent. Write that down."
- Barry Arrington

  
k.e



Posts: 1948
Joined: Mar. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 21 2007,22:09   

Oh and more nun guts please.

Hisselfness

--------------
The conservative has but little to fear from the man whose reason is the servant of his passions, but let him beware of him in whom reason has become the greatest and most terrible of the passions.These are the wreckers of outworn empires and civilisations, doubters, disintegrators, deicides.Haldane

   
Mr_Christopher



Posts: 1238
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 22 2007,14:00   

I'd like to see more of Dembski.  He's not so bright but manages to hide that fact behind all of his various degrees.  What is he now, a research guy at a 3rd rate fundy school for future ministers?

The sychophants at UD lap up his act as if he had something to do with their everlasting life thereafter.  The "Dr Dembski" stuff just kills me.

I miss his scholarly farting videos and nobody is as good a liar while portraying themselves as a persecuted victim as Dembski.  I'd like to read more of him at UD.

Chris

--------------
Uncommon Descent is a moral cesspool, a festering intellectual ghetto that intoxicates and degrades its inhabitants - Stephen Matheson

  
Mr_Christopher



Posts: 1238
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 22 2007,14:02   

I forgot, MORE Jesus and afterlife talk please.  And how about some more deep philosophical debates such as do darwinists go to heaven kind of stuff.  Does Jesus hate those who reject ID kind of stuff.

Thanks in advance!

--------------
Uncommon Descent is a moral cesspool, a festering intellectual ghetto that intoxicates and degrades its inhabitants - Stephen Matheson

  
stevestory



Posts: 10394
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 22 2007,19:41   

From Dembski, I want to see more reporting evolutionists to government agencies based on thirdhand information which later turns out to be bullshit.

   
"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank



Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 22 2007,21:40   

I enjoy the weekly news reports that Darwinism will  collapse, once and for all, some time next week.  Just you wait and see.

--------------
Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com

  
Jim_Wynne



Posts: 1199
Joined: June 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 22 2007,22:07   

I think it'd be great if they brought Joel Borofsky back.

--------------
Evolution is not about laws but about randomness on happanchance.--Robert Byers, at PT

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 23 2007,09:55   

I think that UD should post more pictures of Dr. Dembski dancing with Rev Ted Haggard.

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 23 2007,15:07   

Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 23 2007,08:55)
I think that UD should post more pictures of Dr. Dembski dancing with Rev Ted Haggard.

Done! Lap Dance anyway - with consideration for Dr. Dr.'s frail frame. (Dembski's in the front row.) :D

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 24 2007,13:20   

Quote (Kristine @ Aug. 23 2007,15:07)
Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 23 2007,08:55)
I think that UD should post more pictures of Dr. Dembski dancing with Rev Ted Haggard.

Done! Lap Dance anyway - with consideration for Dr. Dr.'s frail frame. (Dembski's in the front row.) :D

Kristine - How did you get the camera past the Floating Command Post security for the last Super Secret ID Policy Meeting?

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 24 2007,15:18   

Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 24 2007,12:20)
 
Quote (Kristine @ Aug. 23 2007,15:07)
?
Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 23 2007,08:55)
I think that UD should post more pictures of Dr. Dembski dancing with Rev Ted Haggard.

Done! Lap Dance anyway - with consideration for Dr. Dr.'s frail frame. (Dembski's in the front row.) :D

Kristine - How did you get the camera past the Floating Command Post security for the last Super Secret ID Policy Meeting?

I smuggled it in my **UnChristian Words Removed**, since I?m using it. :)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4402
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 24 2007,15:37   

Quote (Kristine @ Aug. 24 2007,15:18)
Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 24 2007,12:20)
?
Quote (Kristine @ Aug. 23 2007,15:07)
?  
Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 23 2007,08:55)
I think that UD should post more pictures of Dr. Dembski dancing with Rev Ted Haggard.

Done! Lap Dance anyway - with consideration for Dr. Dr.'s frail frame. (Dembski's in the front row.) :D

Kristine - How did you get the camera past the Floating Command Post security for the last Super Secret ID Policy Meeting?

I smuggled it in my **UnChristian Words Removed**, since I?m using it. :)

I love it when you use all those unChristian words!

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 24 2007,16:57   

Those what? You got bleeped. ;)

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
Kristine



Posts: 3061
Joined: Sep. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 24 2007,16:58   

I wonder what Uncommon Descent would like to see more of from us? :D

--------------
Which came first: the shimmy, or the hip?

AtBC Poet Laureate

"I happen to think that this prerequisite criterion of empirical evidence is itself not empirical." - Clive

"Damn you. This means a trip to the library. Again." -- fnxtr

  
IanBrown_101



Posts: 927
Joined: April 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 24 2007,17:04   

Quote (Kristine @ Aug. 24 2007,16:58)
I wonder what Uncommon Descent would like to see more of from us? :D

More evilutionist, atheist lies.

More church burning.

More ebola spreading.

--------------
I'm not the fastest or the baddest or the fatest.

You NEVER seem to address the fact that the grand majority of people supporting Darwinism in these on line forums and blogs are atheists. That doesn't seem to bother you guys in the least. - FtK

Roddenberry is my God.

   
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