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  Topic: MY MANIFESTO, sharing my wisdoms< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,09:36   

All cranks must codify their crankery at some time. This is where I'll be doing mine.


Current thought: The Wedding Fine.

I don't like weddings.

1) Boring
2) Formal
3) Airline food and I get served last
4) Can get too churchy
5) Shoite music
6) Tediously long
7) expensive

I don't think blokes should have to go. But clearly you don't want to be guilted and griefed by the happy couple* so I'm proposing 'the wedding fine'.

Here's how it works. You just give them the total money you would have spent** on the wedding. And that's it. They get a tidy sum as they build thier new life together but there is the new social norm that you did a good thing (weddings can be ghastly displays of ephemeral, conspicuous consumption) but the real benefit is no-one is allowed to consider you a shitty friend or become upset. No "Well I went to yours" type shoite.

The likely ramifications are that weddings will become private, intimate affairs. I can see more zombie killing in 'Left for Dead' 2 during summer weekends. Weddings may become events where the groom is the only male attendee. Maybe he should be allowed to pay the fine, also?

* Let's be honest - it'll be the bride who griefs you. And holds onto it forever.

** Think about this in its entirety - airfare, hotel, rental car, BAR TAB plus the gift you were going to give anyway. You sir are a fabulous human being for being so generous!

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
khan



Posts: 1483
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,09:41   

My wedding involved 5 people and ~$200.

My wedding gifts are cash (paypal check or physical bills in a nice box).

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"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

  
Albatrossity2



Posts: 2779
Joined: Mar. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,09:45   

Quote (Richardthughes @ Aug. 13 2010,09:36)
** Think about this in its entirety - airfare, hotel, rental car, BAR TAB plus the gift you were going to give anyway. You sir are a fabulous human being for being so generous!

That settles it, Rich. I'll definitely be inviting you to my wedding (if I ever have another).

--------------
Flesh of the sky, child of the sky, the mind
Has been obligated from the beginning
To create an ordered universe
As the only possible proof of its own inheritance.
† † † † † † † † † † † † - Pattiann Rogers

   
J-Dog



Posts: 4363
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,09:46   

Two quick thoughts come to mind in reply to your wisdom:

1.)  I take you more for the Wedding Crasher type guy. (The Vince Vaughn character, not the Owen Wilson guy.)

2.)  I also take you for the guy that would rather always be a wedding guest than the wedding victim participant.*




* Just kidding dearest!  I have really enjoyed being married to you for the last 100 years.  What?  Oh.  Never mind.

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,09:48   

Quote (Albatrossity2 @ Aug. 13 2010,09:45)
Quote (Richardthughes @ Aug. 13 2010,09:36)
** Think about this in its entirety - airfare, hotel, rental car, BAR TAB plus the gift you were going to give anyway. You sir are a fabulous human being for being so generous!

That settles it, Rich. I'll definitely be inviting you to my wedding (if I ever have another).

Bastard!

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
khan



Posts: 1483
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,09:51   

I'd invite all of you if there were a chance in hell I'd ever get married again.

--------------
"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4363
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,09:57   

Oh!  And I forgot to say that your idea is a great one, and makes a hell of a lot of sense.  It will never work. Therefore, ID!

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Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
Robin



Posts: 1430
Joined: Sep. 2009

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,10:41   

Clearly you have neglected to adjust for human behavior in your concept. Think about this for a minute: you are merely giving bridezillas (and the occasional groomzilla) the incentive to host ridiculously remote, logistically irresponsible weddings.

Bride: "Mmmmm...'Wedding Fine', ehh? Oh...I'll show him a fine..."

Announcement: Mr. and Mrs. Parents Bridezilla request the honor of your presence (and Presents) for the marriage of our daughter and that groomguy.

Date: February X, 2013

Reception: Bouvet Island, Norway. Try Google Earth.

Wedding: Aucanquilcha Mine, Chile, (6,176 m (20,262 ft) ). Please bring hiking boots

Bride: "Top THAT Mr. Wedding Fine!"

--------------
we IDists rule in design for the flagellum and cilium largely because they do look designed. †Bilbo

The only reason you reject Thor is because, like a cushion, you bear the imprint of the biggest arse that sat on you. Louis

  
carlsonjok



Posts: 3324
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,10:47   

Umm, Rich?  Shouldn't you be calling it your HOMOFESTO?

--------------
It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it. †We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,10:49   

I see your point, but in that case I'd have no qualms about not going as it's unreasonable - so my fine would be zero (the cost of my trip) and they'd only get the basic gift (steak knives).

So the happy couple must walk the tightrope. If they get too greedy they will get no fines, no gifts and still have to go to Mars to get married.

I appreciate your input, though. You'll get a footnote in the manifesto.

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,10:51   

Quote (carlsonjok @ Aug. 13 2010,10:47)
Umm, Rich? †Shouldn't you be calling it your HOMOFESTO?

HOMOFISTO would have been funnier, Horsebotherer.

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
carlsonjok



Posts: 3324
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,10:57   

Quote (Richardthughes @ Aug. 13 2010,10:49)
they'd only get the basic gift (steak knives).

What about berry spoons? †Everybody eats berries.

/Coen brothers joke

--------------
It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it. †We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

  
khan



Posts: 1483
Joined: May 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:03   

Will same-sex marriages result in two bridezillas?

--------------
"It's as if all those words, in their hurry to escape from the loony, have fallen over each other, forming scrambled heaps of meaninglessness." -damitall

That's so fucking stupid it merits a wing in the museum of stupid. -midwifetoad

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:14   

Quote (khan @ Aug. 13 2010,11:03)
Will same-sex marriages result in two bridezillas?

Another reason this rule should go into effect. I couldn't handle 3 hours of Carlson and Tarden griding against each other to "the village people's greatest hits".

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
Albatrossity2



Posts: 2779
Joined: Mar. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:18   

Quote (Richardthughes @ Aug. 13 2010,11:14)
Quote (khan @ Aug. 13 2010,11:03)
Will same-sex marriages result in two bridezillas?

Another reason this rule should go into effect. I couldn't handle 3 hours of Carlson and Tarden griding against each other to "the village people's greatest hits".

Sure, that's what you say here. But we all know you'd love it! Especially if FtK was on the guest list too.

--------------
Flesh of the sky, child of the sky, the mind
Has been obligated from the beginning
To create an ordered universe
As the only possible proof of its own inheritance.
† † † † † † † † † † † † - Pattiann Rogers

   
Amadan



Posts: 1255
Joined: Jan. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:24   

This is a marvellous idea. I think we should extend it to funerals.
A bright business opportunity beckons in the provision of:

  • Insta-Sniff pre-soggied tissues so that absent relatives donít have to come hundreds of miles to generate their own
  • Mumbled Platitude Tokens to be sent to the relict (premium tokens count for a fleeting handshake as well!)
  • Web-based software allowing family members not present to bitch about the deceased (oh, I see Facebook got there already)
  • Proxy-pigs, who will eat all food in the deceasedís familyís house so you donít have to!


Next: The BRIS FINEÖ

--------------
"People are always looking for natural selection to generate random mutations" - Densye  4-4-2011
JoeG BTW dumbass- some variations help ensure reproductive fitness so they cannot be random wrt it.

   
carlsonjok



Posts: 3324
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:35   

Quote (Richardthughes @ Aug. 13 2010,11:14)
†  
Quote (khan @ Aug. 13 2010,11:03)
Will same-sex marriages result in two bridezillas?

Another reason this rule should go into effect. I couldn't handle 3 hours of Carlson and Tarden griding against each other to "the village people's greatest hits".

A

--------------
It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it. †We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:37   

Amadan gets to be my first devote, My Vmartin, if you will! spread_teh_wurdz!

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
Amadan



Posts: 1255
Joined: Jan. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:47   

Ummm, can I just send out a memo asking everyone to do it for themselves?

--------------
"People are always looking for natural selection to generate random mutations" - Densye  4-4-2011
JoeG BTW dumbass- some variations help ensure reproductive fitness so they cannot be random wrt it.

   
rhmc



Posts: 340
Joined: Dec. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,11:58   

if the "wedding fine" becomes wide spread, one could just send fake wedding invitations out every couple of years and reap the benefits...

  
dvunkannon



Posts: 1377
Joined: June 2008

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,12:06   

Dang, Rich! Couldn't you have published this before June 4th? I need steak knives!


ETA: My Williams-Sonoma registry is still open.

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Iím referring to evolution, not changes in allele frequencies. - Cornelius Hunter
Iím not an evolutionist, Iím a change in allele frequentist! - Nakashima

  
carlsonjok



Posts: 3324
Joined: May 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,12:22   

Quote (Richardthughes @ Aug. 13 2010,11:37)
Amadan gets to be my first devote, My Vmartin, if you will!

Your Tenzig Norgay?

/another Coen brothers joke.

--------------
It's natural to be curious about our world, but the scientific method is just one theory about how to best understand it. †We live in a democracy, which means we should treat every theory equally. - Steven Colbert, I Am America (and So Can You!)

  
Amadan



Posts: 1255
Joined: Jan. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 13 2010,13:27   

At least it's not his Bosie.


(Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course)

--------------
"People are always looking for natural selection to generate random mutations" - Densye  4-4-2011
JoeG BTW dumbass- some variations help ensure reproductive fitness so they cannot be random wrt it.

   
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 23 2010,14:58   

SAGE WORDS:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
J-Dog



Posts: 4363
Joined: Dec. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 23 2010,20:46   

Quote (Richardthughes @ Aug. 23 2010,14:58)
SAGE WORDS:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion

I can't solve ALL of your problems, but this might help your croc problem... or at least minimize the amount of people that wear "croc shoes." †It would be addition through subtraction.



Now if only someone would set one of these bad boys loose in the Chicago River...

--------------
Come on Tough Guy, do the little dance of ID impotence you do so well. - Louis to Joe G 2/10

Gullibility is not a virtue - Quidam on Dembski's belief in the Bible Code Faith Healers & ID 7/08

UD is an Unnatural Douchemagnet. - richardthughes 7/11

  
rossum



Posts: 179
Joined: Dec. 2008

(Permalink) Posted: Aug. 24 2010,06:24   

Quote (J-Dog @ Aug. 23 2010,20:46)
Now if only someone would set one of these bad boys loose in the Chicago River...

Too late, the French have it in Bordeaux...



rossum

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The ultimate truth is that there is no ultimate truth.

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 05 2011,12:09   

If some one says "kill me now" to you, you'll be allowed to.

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
Richardthughes



Posts: 10184
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 05 2011,12:10   

If some one says "kill me now" to you, you'll be allowed to.

--------------
"Richardthughes, you magnificent bastard, I stand in awe of you..." : Arden Chatfield
"You magnificent bastard! " : Louis
"ATBC poster child", "I have to agree with Rich.." : DaveTard
"I bow to your superior skills" : deadman_932
"...it was Richardthughes making me lie in bed.." : Kristine

  
Amadan



Posts: 1255
Joined: Jan. 2007

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 07 2011,02:07   

If someone says "kill me now" to you three times, you'll have to do it.

--------------
"People are always looking for natural selection to generate random mutations" - Densye  4-4-2011
JoeG BTW dumbass- some variations help ensure reproductive fitness so they cannot be random wrt it.

   
Bob O'H



Posts: 1977
Joined: Oct. 2005

(Permalink) Posted: Jan. 07 2011,03:47   

Quote (khan @ Aug. 13 2010,09:51)
I'd invite all of you if there were a chance in hell I'd ever get married again.

Looks like you'll have to get married to albatrossity, then.

For my marriage, we invited one person - the witness. We tried to get PhysioProf, but he had a church fair or something that day.

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It is fun to dip into the various threads to watch cluelessness at work in the hands of the confident exponent. - Soapy Sam (so say we all)

   
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