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  Topic: The Biologic Institute Thread, The DI's top secret lab, revealed!< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  

Posts: 1901
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: Dec. 15 2006,04:19   

Creationist "researcher" no 1 : "Ok, I got the petri dish prepped with Bacreria X and firmly placed on a King James Bible. This will work, I just know it. All systems go, I repeat, all systems go!"

Creationist "researcher" no 2 : "Prayer group reports they are ready and will start praying in 3...2...1..."

*Moment of holy silence...

*Time passes

* People blink

Creationist "researcher" no 1 : "I don't see anything happening. Are you SURE thay are praying?"

Creationist "researcher" no 2 : "I am sure they are praying! Heck, even I am praying..."

Creationist "researcher" no 1 : "Well, nothing is happening, so they must be doing it wrong! Perhaps the King James should be replaced with a New International Version... hhhmmm"

Creationist "researcher" no 3 : "Maybe they should try praying in tongues...."

Creationist "researcher" no 1 :"You mean they were NOT praying in tongues? How do you expect this to work if they don't pray in tongues??? Idiot!"

*Radio communication...

Creationist "researcher" no 2 : "Ok, the Prayer group has actived Praying in Tongues mode. I can hear them from here."

*Time passes, voices rise in religious fervor

Creationist "researcher" no 1 : " Still nothing. What are they praying for?"

Creationist "researcher" no 2 : "How the #### should they know? It's tongues, remember! Nobody but God nows what the #### they are jabbering about"

Creationist "researcher" no 1 : "It's driving me nuts, all this bloddy noise, tell them to shut up. It friggin sounds like a bunch of drunk Swiss yodeling! Even the Bacteria seems uneasy and are scattering to the sides!"

optional ending #2:

Creationist "researcher" no 3 : Hey everybody, look over there! (points excitedly towards a blank wall, deftly replaces bacteria with a live mouse)

All 3: (looking back at the petri dish) It's a miracle!

optional ending #3:

Creationist "researcher" no 1 : See! It's conclusive. God does not make things evolve! Evolution has just been debunked. Now Johnny, want to go get some meth and a hotel room? (gently strokes his goatee)

Who said that ev'ry wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it
Look what it's done so far

The Daily Wingnut

  146 replies since Dec. 14 2006,03:44 < Next Oldest | Next Newest >  

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