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  Topic: Official Uncommonly Dense Discussion Thread< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  

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Joined: May 2002

(Permalink) Posted: July 12 2008,10:14   

Quote (Reciprocating Bill @ July 12 2008,07:50)
Quote (Dr.GH @ July 12 2008,10:22)
Obviously you have not been to a Catholic Mass in a long time, if ever. A) A priest does not give a host to just anybody, or even to any Catholic. B) a Host is considered church property, C) to obtain another's property under false pretences is a crime. D) a church or temple is not public property. E) even in public property, there are legal limits as to what behaviors are allowed.

Funny, (now) slightly embarrassing story:

When I was about 21 a Catholic friend of mine was getting married, full Catholic mass, and asked me to be in the party as an usher.

I'm not Catholic. I had never attended a mass.

So there I am, sitting in the pew in my rented tux in the midst of a row of his cousins, all in tuxes, and all Catholic. I might have been stoned - I don't recall (I might have been stoned, so I don't recall). The ceremony went forward and reached the point where communion is offered. Everyone around me stood and began to file into line, including my row of cousins. I looked around. What am I supposed to do? Is it an offense to participate? Or to sit there alone?

So absolutely spur of the moment I figured I'd imitate the others. Where's the harm? No one would be the wiser, and I'm going to hell anyway. So I lined up, took note of the ritual, and prepared to imitate. There were 300 people in line behind me.  

But my friend's Italian mother, who is about 4' 8", knew I'm not Catholic. Just as I began to commit my crime she rushed over, grabbed my arm and shoved me sideways with surprising strength shouting "YOU CAN'T!!" The shove spun me around, and there I was, facing the entire congregation as her voice reverberated.  

Oddly, at the time, I wasn't at all embarrassed.  

Subsequently, no one said a word.

I was just as a funeral mass.  The priest went on and on about ecumenicalism, and every Christian being a member "of the body of Christ" and so on... They even sang some songs written by Martin Luther which cracked me up.

Then the mass is offered to "Catholics in an appropriate state of grace" (IIRC). Bwahahaha

There were very few takers.

"Science is the horse that pulls the cart of philosophy."


  29999 replies since Jan. 16 2006,11:43 < Next Oldest | Next Newest >  

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