Joined: June 2008
So, I'm reading Simon R. Green's Nightside novel, Hell to Pay. Near the end of it, the protagonist/narrator, John Taylor, is walking down the Street of the Gods in the company of a militant nun named Sister Jospehine while carrying the dead body of a companion named Paul. He is accosted by Chuck Adamson, the newly-minted god of Creationism (who is described as a bit of a smary used car salesman in looks and actions) who wants to bring the slain Paul back from the dead as a miracle to help his new church get some exposure.
"You can bring my friend back from the dead?" I said, fixing him with my coldest stare. "You can repair Paul's body and return his soul to the vale of the living?"
"Ah," said Chuck. "Repair the body, yes. The soul...is a different matter. A bit out of my reach, you might say."
"So what you're proposing," I said, "is to turn Paul into a zombie and have him lurch about shouting Brains! Brains! while he slowly but inevitably decays?"
"Well, not as such...Look, I'm new," said Cuck, a little desperately. "We've all got to start somewhere!"
"You don't even know who I am, do you?" I said. "I'm John Taylor."
"Bit late to be invoking him, Chuck. You're the god of Creationism...That means you don't believe in evolution, right?"
"Your belief started out as Creationism, but has now become Intelligent Design, right?"
"So your argument has evolved, thus disproving your own argument."
"Oh bugger," said Chuck, as he disappeared in a puff of logic.
"Nice one," said Sister Josephine. "I would have just shoved a holy hand-grenade up his arse and pulled the pin. Heretics! Worse than fleas on a dog. His church has disappeared, too, and I have to say I find the pile of rubble that has replaced it rather more aesthetically satisfying."
"He'll be back," I said. "Or something like him. If enough people believe in a thing..."
"If a million people believe in a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing," Sister Jospehine said firmly. "I am getting really tired of having to explain that a parable is just a parable."
I do believe Mr. Green might be one of the Good Guys.
I've found my personality to be an effective form of birth control.