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  Topic: Official Uncommonly Dense Discussion Thread< Next Oldest | Next Newest >  

Posts: 327
Joined: Jan. 2006

(Permalink) Posted: July 13 2007,02:23   

Quote (GCT @ July 12 2007,18:22)
Quote ("Rev Dr" Lenny Flank @ July 12 2007,18:48)
Quote (Dr.GH @ July 12 2007,17:11)
OOOHH.  I want graphic sex between the bene elohim and the daughters of man to produce those Nephilim dudes.

And that whole "Noah's daughters getting him drunk and trying to screw him" thingie . . . .

Ya know, in all honesty, I don't understand why the porn-meisters haven't made an XXX-rated version of the Bible.  Heck, just in Genesis, there's enough sex to make a 2-hour video.  Beats heck out of "Flesh Gordon".

I think you want to be Lot, not Noah.  Lot got his daughters preggers.  Noah had sons.

If anybody here wants to absolutely laugh their butts off while watching a good, straight forward exposition of (part of) the Old Testament, then you want to get a DVD of "The Real Old Testament", which is surely the funniest Biblical movie ever made.

It's shot as a reality show, where we get to watch episodes from the OT and then the characters are interviewed, documentary style, afterwards.  Lot and his randy daughters are very definitely covered!

Here's a very quick sample of what to expect, including two of the main characters, God (he's the one with the white beard) and the Serpent ("I go by Snake."):

As I recall, it starts in the Garden of Eden, with an introduction to God and then to Adam.  Problems soon arise (from memory):

Adam and God are talking, then...

Adam: "Look!  Sheep!  Excuse me... Hey, Sheep, oh Sheep!  Over here, Sheep!"

Next scene, God is walking alone: "I'm worried about Adam."

Next scene, Eve is born from Adam's rib.  ("I think he's so much happier with Eve than just a full set of ribs.")  Both are nude, by the way, but the naughty bits are blanked out.

Other scenes: Jacob gets screwed working for a wife

The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, complete with Lot's Wife ("That's how everybody refers to me.  I have a name, I'm Myra.  Myra Lot.") turning into a pillar of salt

The seduction of Lot by his daughters (Lot: "Who's your daddy, who's your daddy!")

Abram's wife giving him her slave for sex, ("I'm young again!  I'm young again!)

Cain and Abel ("I had a stick and I had a brother I didn't like and you put them together...") and many more scenes I can't remember.

You might also look at:


If you don't love this movie, you're a tard.

  29999 replies since Jan. 16 2006,11:43 < Next Oldest | Next Newest >  

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