"Rev Dr" Lenny Flank
Posts: 2560
Joined: Feb. 2005
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| Quote (Stephen Elliott @ Feb. 24 2007,14:37) | | Coincidently, I had a Jehova's witness at my door today. |
My favorite tactic for dealing with Witnesses (and any other fundy nutters who came to my door):
For years, I kept a large collection of reptiles and exotic animals in my house (I used to do educational talks and shows for school classes, scout troops, etc). One of my pets was an adult black racer snake, wildcaught -- about four feet long, glossy black, very fast, very alert, and hated humans with an absolute passion. Every time his cage was approached, he'd instantly rear up in the classic S-shaped snake-attack position. Everyone who saw him assumed he was some sort of mamba or something.
Also had a tank full of African emperor scorpions. The largest scorp species in the world -- eight inches tip to tip, huge pincers, with a highly visible stinger at least a quarter-inch long at the end of their graceful curving tail. Glossy black. The most evil-looking thing you can imagine.
Both critters were, of course, utterly harmless to humans.
So, whenever the god-botherers would show up, I'd invite them in and sit them down, on a love seat that just happened to be right between these two cages. After they had a good long look, I'd ask to borrow their Bible, and open it to Luke 10:19:
"Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy; and nothing shall by any means hurt you."
I then asked them to go ahead and demonstrate their faith in the Bible by opening either cage and handing me its occupant. Their choice which one.
For some odd reason, no one ever took me up on my offer, and they all decided that they had better places to be.
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Editor, Red and Black Publishers
www.RedandBlackPublishers.com
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